Jumpstart My Radioactive Heart- Hancock x Male Sole Survivor

"Right now, this is exactly where I wanna be."

(Art by Miasmat on Tumblr)

Hancock had been lying in bed for about two hours, just staring. Mercer had a heavy arm resting on his chest. It grounded him, kept his mind here, instead of out there, instead of on what could happen. He liked to think about what was happening.

"I like you." Hancock curled into him.

It felt nice to sit, be done running, to have a home. The permanence of it didn't matter. So long as the two of them lived they'd be together, he knew that. He'd never had to think twice about it.

Sometimes the thought of growing old popped into his mind, and it scared him more than anything else had. The thought of watching Mercer decay and lose himself in front of him while he had to live on with the burden and anguish of-

but it was hard to be upset when he could feel those rough fingers trailing down his back.

It was nice to be happy. To have someone to make sure he ate everyday, drank some non radiated water maybe, got as much sleep as a ghoul could ask for, to care for his every last need, just because he wanted to. He could revel in it forever, and it almost felt like he did.

"Five more minutes."

He didn't push anymore, didn't push people away because he didn't want to lose them. He pulled, pulled Mercer closer to his chest so that he was lying on top of it and feeling his heart beat. He pulled the sheets around them, wrapped them up in a little burrito so Mercer couldn't leave even if he really wanted to, which he most certainly didn't.

"We've got all the time in the world."

And Mercer's heart almost stopped again.

Time. He finally had time.

"Remember when we first met?" He'd asked this question so many damn times. He was lucky Mercer was impossible to annoy.

"What about it?" He hummed, and Hancock could sense the smile on his face.

"I don't know, just thinking."

"Couldn't forget if I wanted to, you left quite the impression."

Hancock's laugh woke him up, just a bit. "Yeah, I'll bet... It's good to be here, you know."

"Oh, I know."

"I think.. if you'd told me we'd end up like this back then, I woulda thought you'd been getting way too much of my second hand smoke."

"I probably was. But why?"

"This isn't something you get to have... in a place like this."

"You didn't think you'd get to be happy."

Hancock pinched his face. "If you're insinuating I wasn't happy enough without you-"

"Ow!"

"But.." He rubbed the spot. "You're right."

"Hm. Me too."

"I just don't want.. to lose it."

"I don't wanna talk about this now, sweet." Mercer looked up at him with those giant green eyes of his. "I want breakfast."

"Then breakfast you shall have." He shuffled around. "Love, you gotta get off o' me first."

"No."

"Then you'll have to starve."

"I'm fine with that." He got real comfy again before pushing himself up and leaning on his forearms, meeting his husbands eyes with an inquisitive look. "When's Fahrenheit comin?"

"Well... If she wants to leave I gotta be up there running the place in her stead- really sucks."

"Shaun's been going on and on about her. He misses his big sister." Mercer flopped back down onto Hancock's chest, nearly crushing him.

Big sister. It was one of the best things he had, someone who considered Fahrenheit his kid too. He had formally adopted her, and maybe it was safer for no one to know the nature of their relationship. She wouldn't have a target on her back, but it was odd, keeping that secret.

"I'll send her over when I head in, alright? Her and Cal. But you have to stay with me until she's back, no way I'm wrangling with all that paperwork without some kind of incentive."

"I'm great incentive." Mercer hummed. "Hate to miss Cal, though. I love her."

"Me too. They're good for each other. We got lucky."

"Like father, like daughter,"

He chuckled, "Sure." ran his fingers through Mercer's thick mess of black hair. He liked it grown out. "I wanna talk."

"You sure?" And he knew, he'd been putting it off. They were leaving tomorrow morning, and it was on his mind too.

"Yeah..."

"So talk."

"I don't know where to start." He gaped.

He'd never been good at expressing his thoughts, or good with words. Mercer carried on that front. It was hard to admit but being with someone as charismatic as him was hard, but he was patient, and that was a wonder in and of itself.

"I don't like it... when you do unnecessarily dangerous shit after all we've accomplished. I was thinking about the last time we went and- I don't wanna feel like that again."

Mercers eyes, they were completely understanding, and he nodded.  "I know, and I'm sorry. I just-"

Hancock pressed a finger to his lips. "I'm not done." He breathed. "I want to be with you for as long as I possibly can. I can't- It's-"

He nodded again.

"We've been through... so much, and I want it to be worth it. So I'm going with you. I'm gonna make sure you don't end up wrestling with anything, and we're gonna make it out of there. Alive. We're gonna come back and we're gonna sleep, for a year."

"Alright, dove."

"I need you to promise me."

A promise wouldn't do anything. They both knew that.

"I promise. Sleep sounds fantastic."