Regretting And Rejecting

Chapter 5

Hannah

“What took you so long?” My mom asks with a concerned look on her face as soon as I walk in the door. My dad is close behind her and I sigh before walking into the kitchen.

Stress always makes me hungry.

“Micah tried to get me to stay. He’s acting so weird.” I say opening the fridge and pulling some snacks out. My mom takes the food from me and starts preparing something while my dad grabs me to sit next to him at our kitchen island.

“You mean he wasn’t treating you like a piece of gum on his shoe?” My dad scoffs irritably.

“Why didn’t you tell us it was that bad, baby?” My mom asks, her eyes sad. There’s a pang in my heart at the thought of hurting her.

“He’s the Alpha’s son. What could you have done?” I ask shrugging and avoiding their gaze. My dad sighs and slings his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into him and planting a kiss on my forehead.

“We could have spoken to Alpha. You heard him today. He would not have approved of his son treating you that way, mate or not.” My dad points out, but I shake my head.

“If he was going to change, I wanted him to do it on his own. For him to grow up and realize how he should behave as a future alpha. I know I probably hurt your guys’ feelings today, saying what I did about leaving the pack, but I want you to know it has nothing to do with the two of you. Only Micah.” I say meeting both of their gazes. They both nod as my mom places a plate of food in front of me.

“We know, sweetie. We just feel so bad. We’ve been excited about you finding your mate too. And then you get that little shit.” My dad says angrily, snatching a carrot off my plate. I snarl at him and he chuckles in response as he munches on it happily. My mom watches our exchange with a warm, affectionate look.

“You know, a few days ago when he was spouting that bullshit at me, I told him his mate would be disappointed in getting him as a mate and that I hoped she rejected him.” I say with a little giggle. That makes both of my parents smile.

“Did it feel good? The revenge?” My mom asks, but I shake my head.

“I didn’t reject him for revenge. I rejected him because I don’t want to be his mate.” Both of my parents sigh and they turn from amused to somber.

“Hannah, we didn’t want to say this in front of the Alpha, because we want you to know that we are on your side.” My mother starts but looks to my dad for help. My eyes flit between the two of them as unease builds inside me.

“Alpha’s right, baby. As much as I hate to admit it. Once Micah became your mate, your responsibility first and foremost is to this pack. If your mate had been anyone but a future alpha, I say wholeheartedly that you have every right to reject a man who treats you with such little respect, but that simply isn’t an option here. In fact, regardless of the situation, I’m fucking proud of you for standing up to him. For believing in yourself and your worth. You are strong and incredible. I just wish you didn’t have to take it back.” He says sadly and I shake my head.

“That’s not fair.” I say, tears springing in my eyes.

“We know it’s not, Hannah. We know it’s not.” My mom says, tears brimming in her own eyes. She rounds the counter to pull me into a hug and I can’t stop the tears from falling.

“He’s put me through hell for years and you guys just expect me to forgive him? To hope the mate bond keeps him from treating me like trash? All for this pack who treats me like a leper because of the rumors he spread? Listen to yourselves! Doesn’t my happiness mean anything to you?” I scream and push my mother off of me, sprinting up the stairs and into my room.

I lock the door behind me and take a few deep breaths, but I can still smell Micah’s scent on me. I rip my clothes from me and throw them out into the hallway to get them away from me, not caring if it pisses off my parents, before climbing into the shower and scrubbing my skin raw. I allow myself to break down and cry, sobbing against the spray, lowering myself to the ground.

It was hard enough, rejecting my mate and accepting that I would never get to have that bond. But allowing a man who has treated me so horribly for so long be my other half? That almost sounds worse. I could never trust him, never love him. Any feelings I have would be because of the mate bond. Is that any way to live?

I step out of the shower and hear a pounding on my door that is not at all something I would expect of my parents. They must be really upset. I wrap a towel around me before whipping open the door.

“What?!” I yell and am surprised to see Micah’s distraught face. His eyes flit over my body, not hungrily but more like looking for injuries, before he makes eye contact again.

“Are you ok? You felt… distressed over the bond.” He says confused as his eyes catch my red, puffy ones.

“I’m fine. You can go.” I say attempting to close the door. He pushes it open further and takes a step towards me.

“You’re not fine. Your face is all red and splotchy. You’ve been crying.” He says, his voice breaking. “Please don’t cry, sweetheart.” He practically whispers as he tries to wrap his arms around me. I push away from him and take a step back, tightening my towel around me and start to shiver from the cold water dripping from my hair.

“Stop! Don’t touch me.” I tell him firmly and his shoulders slump.

“Just let me comfort you.” He pleads, reaching his hands out to me but I shake my head.

“I already told you. I don’t feel the bond. Your touch doesn’t comfort me.” I practically yell and he rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t mean the bond, Hannah. I meant me. Just me. Let me hold you.” He begs and I shake my head again.

“Why? Because you don’t have clothes on? Here.” He says taking his shirt off and trying to hand it to me.

“No.” I say. “I just took a shower to get your scent off of me. Why can’t you just leave me alone? Just give me some time to fucking think!” I can’t help but yell, starting to get hysterical. His eyes widen in concern and he looks out my bedroom door. My mother comes in the next second and he walks out.

“Come on, baby. Let’s get you dressed.” She says gently, pulling a shirt over my head and handing me some pajama pants before leading me into the bathroom and blow drying my hair, at least to get it to stop dripping, before braiding it for me like she used to when I was little.

“Why did you let him in?” I ask bitterly and she sighs.

“He was upset, Hannah. We knew you were too. We were hoping he could help you. I realize we were wrong. I’m sorry.” She says earnestly and I nod. “But since he’s here, why don’t you let him stay?” she asks, and I shake my head. I stand up to walk out to the room where he is wandering around, looking at my things.

“I’m fine. You can leave.” I say monotone and he observes me with concern. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair before looking back up at me. He walks over to me and reaches up to run my braid through his fingers.

“I’ve always liked your hair like this. It gives off the innocent hot teacher vibe.” He says, cracking a smile. I cross my arms over my chest and look at the floor, making him sigh again.

“Hannah please. Just listen to me. If you let me in, give me a chance, I’m telling you whatever feelings I have for you are not just because of the bond. I have always liked you, Hannah. But I wasn’t good enough for you and that pissed me off. Everyone knew it. You knew it, my parents knew it. Apparently, the only person who didn’t get the memo was the Moon Goddess. I don’t know what she was thinking, doing this to you, giving me to you as your mate, but I want to try to make this better. I know you want time to think, but I just wanted you to know that.” I shrug at him and look up to meet his eyes.

“The way you treated me; your reasons don’t make sense. You were so harsh, so cruel.” I say bitterly and he nods.

“I have no good reasons. Just know I regretted my actions long before you became my mate.”