Ghosts Of The Past | Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 19: Little White Lies

Natasha simply shrugged. ''So we just forget about it. Forget we ever found out about this.''

The sound that left Katya's lips fell somewhere between a chuckle, a sob, and a scoff. ''That's very unhealthy advice.'' She expected her to say something like: 'we'll tell them together', or 'we don't have to do it right now, only when you're ready'.

Not for her to completely ignore it.

But Natasha confidently shook her head, a determined look in her eye. ''I don't care. It doesn't matter that he was related. He's gone now, and you can't change anything anyway.''

Her breath fanned over Katya's face while she held strict eye contact the whole time to make sure her words registered in the brunette's brain, because she had a distant and empty look in her blue eyes. ''Accept it as the truth, but nobody needs to know if you don't want them to. As far as they are aware, we both are still clueless on all things family.''

Katya could breathe a bit better. Natasha was right. This might be true, but nobody needed to know about it, so their opinions of her couldn't change.

She didn't want those to change. She liked how her friends thought of her and looked at her right now. 

They didn't need to know, because honestly, almost all Avengers had shitty parents growing up. So they didn't talk about it anyway.

''Okay.'' She tried a smile, exhaling shakingly. She wasn't entirely sure what this all implied, but Natasha's words sounded so appealing, and she was so tired of thinking, that she agreed. Because she wanted nothing more than to forget about it.

''Okay?''

Katya nodded, throwing her arms around Natasha's neck and pulling her tightly against her. ''God, I love you so much,'' she sniffed, her face buried into her neck. Arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer. But despite her torso getting crushed, she could breathe a lot better. ''I'm so happy you know more now. About your mom.''

''I still don't know her name, though,'' Natasha whispered, her cheek on Katya's dark hair. She was happy she had pulled her out of her self-degrading spiral. It could get dark in her brain easily and she needed to interfere before that happened. 

Katya pulled her head back to look at her face, Natasha's sad smile staring back. ''She's proud of you, Nat. I know that,'' she muttered.

''How?'' Now she was the one tearing up, her eyes stinging.

''Can't you feel her watch over you? Because I can. And I was right about her. She's strong, stubborn, a fighter. Like you.'' She smiled, no hesitation or doubt in her words. ''I bet she was an amazing woman. And her story explains why you value family so much.''

Natasha nodded, but Katya hadn't been able to make her smile reach her eyes. It would take a long time for her to come to terms with everything she got to know about her mother as well. It's not easy to hear she's gone and spent her life aimlessly looking for her daughter, who hated her for thinking she was abandoned.

Her green eyes drifted down to Katya's collarbone. ''I wish I could have met her. Just once. See her face, talk to her, get to know her. So I understand why I am who I am, why I do what I do, why I like what I like...'' Despite the tears and the sad expression, her voice was steady.

Katya gave the back of her neck a warning squeeze, playfully narrowing her eyes. ''You know damn well who you are, Natalia Romanova. And if you don't, I'll be here to remind you.''

A newfound adoration for her wife swirled in Natasha's chest, and she made sure to tighten her grip on her waist. ''I would have loved to bring you home, introduce you to her. Hope she didn't kill you because you're not a guy,'' she chuckled through her tears, sniffing afterwards.