Toto and the Boys III: Dannie

Chapter 13

Her chin rested on her knees, her arms hugging her legs.

“It has been almost an hour and I think you’ve recovered enough and allow me to sit beside you,” Troy said, sitting down beside her. “But I’ll give you a little bit of space,” he added in haste when noticed her alarmed state, scooting a few inches away from her. His face was back to his old, Troy look—playful and up-to-no-good.

Her body relaxed and her chin went to rest back on her knees. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“That’s okay. I am not sorry about the chairs though. I was really angry.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Danica, I am in love with you. You can expect me to just calmly react to the fact that your bastard father—Forget it,” he said, stopping himself as his jaw tightened with his control. “I don’t even want to mention that good-for-nothing-fucker.”

A long, comfortable silence fell between them.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked her. She was staring straight into the ocean, watching the floating bar slowly make its way back to shore.

“I am just wondering how I can make you unlove me.”

He scoffed. “As if you can. Wanna place a bet on that?” He was in his jesting mood this time and she hated to spoil this moment.

She shrugged. “Well, that was just a thought. You asked.”

“Because I was hoping you’d say you’re thinking how you’d tell the sisters that you’re not going back.”

Dannie rolled her eyes. “Big dream you got there.”

He let out a big breath as he slowly fell on his back on the sand, his hands under his head. “Oh, Danica, you don’t know the half of it.”

“Really? Pray do tell.” She regretted her words the moment they rolled out her mouth. She didn’t want to hear Troy’s dreams.

“As of the moment, topping the list of my dreams is making you fall in love with me,” he answered nonchalantly. “Next is get off your friend zone and be tagged as your boyfriend. Next is, of course, make you realize that your past doesn’t really matter because no one can do time travel so that means we are not ever going back to that time—there’s just moving forward. And…let’s see…”

“If it is going to get cheesier, I’d like to pass,” she uttered with feigned mockery.

A laugh grumbled out of his chest. “I am just being honest. It’s no secret what I feel toward you.”

“And you think it will change my decision?” It was an innocent question.

“I hoped it would be enough, yes,” he admitted. “But I realized I can’t be with you if you can’t love me back. And I can’t force you either so that makes it more challenging on my part. I can try, but I can’t do it with you inside a convent.”

Dannie took a deep breath, taking in the breeze of the ocean. She looked down at him. His face was calm and she wondered if he was getting used to the waiting and the pain.  “Troy, there are things that happened to me that made me think I am underserving of any forms of love.” She gauged his reaction and when it didn’t change, she continued, “And I know it’s wrong for me to think that. I have gotten over the I-don’t-deserve-your-love crap. I know I deserve all the love I can get. God had shown me that.” She turned her head back to the ocean and tucked her long hair behind one ear. She spoke facing the ocean. “But I can’t give love as equally as other people. That’s my problem. I can’t give love because I don’t know how to forgive and forgiveness is a great factor to any relationship. The only one I can wholeheartedly love is God because He is not capable of hurting me.”