But Heaven Had Other Plans

Chapter 8

Nevaeh's P.O.V

"Stupid leggings," I muttered to myself as I made my way home dejectedly. I hadn't stuck around long after what I'd seen. A gaping hole seemed to exist where my heart was. I know it was stupid to cry over a guy who never even glanced my way twice, but I did. I couldn't stop the tears. Luckily, it was already dark outside so no one would be able to see my face and I kept my sobbing to a bare whisper.

How could it hurt so much?

I liked Ronnie a lot and I couldn't help how I felt about him. He wasn't just attractive physically. He was pretty smart and clever I'd discovered from listening to him speak. He was the best dam agent Omega had and was adored by many. He was kind and funny and though he'd never said more than two words to me I just felt like we had this... connection. Leslie, Karter and Chase all discouraged me from pursuing him saying that he never had a girlfriend for more than a few months and his ultimate interest was sex, but I didn't want to believe them. Sure they knew him longer than me, but they could still be wrong. Right?

His hands were on her ass Nevaeh and they weren't there for support.

I cringed at my thought. Of course he would be attracted to that sort of thing. I mean what guy wouldn't be? Men loved that kind of thing. Just ask my cheating ex.
I wondered if I could ever pull off that much confidence around a guy? That woman in the gym was bold and flirtatious. She wasn't afraid to show off her skin not in the slightest. She wasn't afraid to flaunt her stuff.

I had made it home by now, unlocking the front door of my apartment and stumbling inside. I fumbled for the light switch and then headed straight for the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I wasn't very happy with what I saw. I wasn't slim and tiny, but I also wasn't fat either. I was an unpleasant in between. My breasts weren't full or boast-worthy, but you could clearly see their shape through my clothes. I didn't have the best curves and my shoulders were broader than I would have liked. I was 5'6", a good height for a woman. My skin was dark and smooth in some places. I had scars on my legs from playing outside with my brothers as a child, but they weren't very visible now. My face was round and my lips were full. I had eyelashes that everyone said were long and thick, and eyebrows that grew wildly despite my best efforts. I had dark brown eyes that you wouldn't notice unless I was standing in the sun. When I smiled, I showed the small gap between my teeth that I had only recently begun to like. My hair was thick and coarse and most of the time didn't want to co operate.

I sighed softly to myself.

I wasn't fond of too revealing clothing although I loved a good pair of shorts occasionally. I grew up with a conservative Christian mother so revealing clothing was a big hell no. I would never let a man touch my butt in public like that much less agree to have sex in a public bathroom. I'd lost my virginity last year to my ex boyfriend and hadn't been with another man since. I wasn't into parading my body like merchandise on sale and after the intense break up I had with my ex, I haven't even reintroduced myself to the dating scene. I'm proud of myself for at least having high standards, but often wonder if that's the reason Ronnie wouldn't as much glance in my direction. Was I too uptight? Is that what he thought of me?

He's more than likely never thought of you.... ever

That thought humbled my ass real quick, but that's what I mean. What if I portrayed myself a little more... sexy? Spice up my style a bit. I could be flirtatious too... I think. A little bating of the eyes and swaying of the hips I could probably manage that. Embody my inner Naomi Campbell (who by the way is my spirit animal). Deep down I know I shouldn't have to change myself to appease a man, but the more I thought about it, the more it resonated with me. I could be the it girl and once Ronnie got to know me, it wouldn't matter to him how hot I looked. I have a banging personality. I'm smart and really easy-going. I'm independent and different I just need him to give me a chance.

Excited with my idea I went straight to my bedroom to change out of my uniform and into something more comfy.

"First things first, this hair," I said to myself. I freed my hair from its hair tie and proceeded to carefully moisturize and detangle it. Growing up my mother would always tell me that my hair was a constant work out for her. She never knew how to style it and so puffs were her go to. Eventually she learned how to do twists and those were my favorite. Even though she didn't know many hairstyles, my mom never put any chemicals in my hair and for that I'm grateful.

When I was done detangling, I began brushing my hair up and secured it with a hair tie tightly. Then I placed a little Eco styler gel around the whole perimeter of my head before brushing it in place. I did up my edges and carefully tied my hair down with a scarf for the night. 

By the time I was finished it was 7:30pm. I made my self some dinner and headed to bed excited for tomorrow.