wanna bet? | dream x Reader

September 10th 2021 | y/n

9:57 A.M

People say there's a moment in the morning.

That split second where everything is okay. When everything bad that's happened is forgotten. That's an amazing thing. Don't you think?

Is there a way I can make that last? Somehow that moment feels like nothing now. Because it's gone. It ended.

Imagine the perfect world. I personally perceive that nanosecond as the perfect world. Now that I juxtapose that split second from now I realize how much it feels like a hoax.

People say it's to give you a break from all that pain. And that you have to savor it. But you can't savor a moment in the past, only dwell on it.

To me, it feels like a malevolent or even possibly vitriolic wisecrack for someone to look down on me because I enjoy that feeling. To even fathom that I could want to be okay for more than just a forgettable second.

Today is the day I shower. I guess I should stop brooding over the impossible. I slowly stand up and walk to my bathroom.

My stomach grumbles and I smile over my newfound appetite. I open the door and flip the knob around the middle. My hand fumble around the hem of the hoodie to pull it over my head. I finally get it off and throw it to the floor.

I take off any residual clothing and step into the shower. I turn the thing down to cold after my body fully warms up to room temperature. I hear cold showers are good for you.

I run the body wash across myself and scratch the shampoo into my hair. It feels so good to just be clean again. I look forward straight-faced.

I squirt the conditioner onto my hands. There is a longing in the heart. For something. Someone. I need something that feels familiar. Something that makes me feel better.

Of course, my brain, as it does, trails off to Atlas. "No," I mutter. I run my hands through my hair and make sure that I get the conditioner in thoroughly. How incompetent do I have to be to think of Atlas?

I crouch down and hold my hands over my eyes. The water cold and soft, I know, but it feels like every droplet is a hundred pounds. Have some self-respect y/n.

My mind quickly washes the thought away as I cleanse myself. It's replaced with a notion I've had in my head for some time now. But the thought itself never took over. It'd only last a second or two. And it was always quiet.

Clay.

I had told him not to fly up. I said it was because it was stupid. Which it is and I'm pathetic for even thinking about backtracking now. But I know he'd make me feel better.

At this point, I don't feel as sad about her death as I'm sad that I've lost all the people that made me who I was.

I turn the knob down to where the water's off. I snatch the towel from the hook it's hanging on. Wrapping it around me I sit down on my shower edge. Now for my least favorite part of bathing.

11:06 A.M

Shaved, hair brushed, laundry in the washer, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, showered, and I'm back in bed.