It all started with a game

Chapter 21

"You set a pan of boiling water on fire. That defeats the laws of physics."

I grumbled. He might be right. "Fine, I can pour cereal."

"It's a good thing I love cereal." He smiled, tugging on my waist to pull me on top of him. "But we can go eat in a little bit," he said as he snuggled me closer to him.

My smile slowly fell. Just one more day of this, I just wanted one more day of this. But I couldn't have one more day, because I would never stop wanting one more day, and when the time finally came, when I wasn't given one more day, it would hurt like crazy, like my limbs were being torn off one by one. It's better to have one less finger than no arm at all. It's better to have half a soul than none at all.

I had to tell him, show him. No matter how much I just wanted to stay like this, sprawled across him like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I closed my eyes, stilling my breaths. I can do it. I pressed a small kiss to his chin, in case it would be the last one, I wanted to remember it, I wanted to remember everything.

He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "What was that for?"

"I have to tell you something," I started before I could back out.

I sat up, grabbing my book from off the nightstand. Ryder followed my lead, his face suddenly very serious. "What is it?"

I bent my poor book back and forth, nearly cracking the spine. Now or never.

I never quite understood that saying. I wouldn't mind if I never had to tell him, but I couldn't keep him in my life, at least not like this, if I had to keep it from him. It's better I tell him now and let him walk out while I still have some dignity left. "Our old neighbor, she uh—" I started the story off the long way, figuring the more details I told him, the longer I'd have before I'd have to show him. "She knocked over a candle and it started a really bad fire in our house and um, Klaus, Sonny, and I were all um, asleep, yeah, we were asleep." My sentences were so incoherent I doubt he'd even understand them. "I woke up, because she was trying to get me out before the whole house went up in flames but I told her to get Klaus out instead and wouldn't stop screaming until she did. She wasn't able to come back for me or Sonny so we were in there for a while and we'll, fire is really hot and it tends to melt things." I mentally slapped myself. I'm fairly certain he already knows that. I started talking faster and faster until Ryder wasn't able to keep up anymore.

He grabbed my face. "You're gonna have to slow down." He whispered, brushing through my hair. "It's okay, just take your time."

Deep breath. I stared into his stunning eyes, finally getting the opportunity to commit them to memory, and once I had, I finally told him. "I was burned on almost half of my body."

Ryder stroked my cheek with his thumb, his voice calming. "I know."

He couldn't know. He couldn't. I know he saw some of it, but he didn't see all of it. He doesn't know. He doesn't know how bad it looks, if he did, he wouldn't still be here. He couldn't know. He just can't.

I stood up from the bed, my movements rapid and disorderly. "I'm taking off my shirt," I warned him.

I didn't bother to look at his reaction, peeling my shirt off with shaky hands, unveiling the curtains to reveal a worn down and broken stage. I couldn't look at him. "There," my lip quivered, my voice cracking. "See." I took several harsh breaths through my nose, trying to stop the floodgates from opening.

He didn't speak for a long moment, a long, agonizing moment. "Is that why you were so upset? You didn't want me to see?"

I closed my eyes, keeping the tears locked in place as they threatened to spill. My mouth had gone completely dry, making speaking nearly impossible. "I look like a-" I couldn't finish the sentence, knowing I'd surely cry if I did.