KamiyaJuu x Shrek

chapter 2: the make out

courtesy to my friend for writing most of this !

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Staring at the stars, I fold my arms over my knees to shelter myself from the freezing air of the night. I rub my arms together, blowing at it every once in a while, trying to gather the warmth of my own body heat. I frown as the memory of the argument I had with Shrek resurfaces in my head. I told him I wanted him to buy me an Acer SB550Q bi 26.5" 1920x1080 75 Hz Monitor, so I can be the number 1 VTuber, but instead he built me a desktop made of boogers. He's such a terrible sugar daddy 🤬. Suddenly, I hear a deeply irritating voice call out for me. "WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!" Donkey asks me calmly.

"Oh, nothing." I reply, followed by a shlong sigh. "Aren't they lovely?" I whisper, adoring the scorching orbs of gases they call stars✨. "No." Donkey replies with his best efforts, confused as to why I'm even outside in the first place.

"Is it cause y-you miss Shrek?" Donkey hesitantly asks me. "Y'know, he's not the only character willing to help you in this world. If he's upset at you now, I'm still here 🥺👉👈." He looks my way while I glued my eyes to the night sky with shoe glue as if I was searching for an airpla- I mean, shooting star. "Hey! You have a fly on your face!" He pinned me down. His eyes smoking with passion. His hooves radiating heat. He punches my face repeatedly to remove the fly that already flew off. I can smell his armpits throughout my body even before we've made any physical contact. He stops and my eyes were drawn to his lovely, luscious lips. So soft-looking.. so kissable. (Wait, do donkeys even have lips?)

He draws himself closer to me. Our chests already touching, I stop him. "Why what's wrong? It's Shrek🥒 isn't it?" The tone of dissapointment is evident in his voice. Donkey proceeds to try and sleep through the cold, miserable night. I felt guilt, and then contradiction, and then.. conviction! I am Kamiya Juu, the King, I shouldn't be tied down to anybody!

"I- what're you doing?!" He whispered as I continued to remove my poor person socks to reveal my sexy feet. "This is a dream! And this will remain a dream for the both of us." I told him, seductively. Although, I was stating it as more of a warning. We both started kissing and playing patty cake🎂 with our feet, knowing full well that Shrek was still sulking about how Kamiya disliked his booger desktop. He worked so hard that his right nostril stretched into 10 feet.

But then Shrek fell from the sky! He stood up and started barking at me, my ears began to hurt because it reminded me of my simps from back home. "How dare you play patty cake with Kamiya-sama?!"

Donkey stood up and grabbed his magical girl wand while Shrek did the same. They both transformed, Shrek turned into a pretty magical girl called Summer June Luna Crystallè, a half-fairy-half-dragon unicorn queen of rainbows. Donkey on the other hand was about to transform when he accidentally hit Kamiya with his magic!

Donkey was so distracted as he watched Kamiya-sama turn into a horse, so Shrek flew over to him and bit his balls.

Shrek gasped so loudly that the tower of liberty began to shake and the world became one whole massive earthquake, and we all died!!

But then we come back to life again because of the airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars and Twilight Sparkle, Shrek's bimbobitchofa ex-girlfriend, wished we would be alive again then BOOM!

Mordecai, the blue jay bitch 😎, flew down to soothe Shrek's tantrum by punching him. Everyone was now playing patty cake with their feet except for Shrek, cos he's half ded 🙄.