the duchess

end it, i have nothing to live for anyways

-end it, I have nothing to live for anyways-
-11-

julie's pov

"Caroline, we've known each other since we were children-"

My heart pains as I hear these words coming from Luke's mouth. From the looks of it, they pain him too. I know what's coming next, most people here do.

I also know this was all planned. I know it was all scripted but that won't stop it from hurting just the same. Apparently they both spent a summer in England working under some of the finest dramatic arts professionals, makes their acting pretty dam good.

My guts rip themselves out again and I try to keep a brave face. "Hey, straighten up" Riley quietly hisses from beside me.

"Sorry, my stomach-"

"Nah, I mean STRAIGHTEN up. Like- be less gay. You're making googly eyes at the guy about to get on one knee and- there" Luke gets on one knee, pulling out the ring I know he was handed seconds before we stepped out.

Carrie screams a yes as he slips the ring on her finger. Her cheeks streaming with tears and I can't tell why. Is she just a great actress or is it something more, does she realize this is the prison she's trapped into for eternity? A marriage with each other would ruin both of them.

Luke stands up, taking her face in his hands before their lips meet. Maybe it's because I know them personally but there's no fire in that kiss.

Maybe it's because I've been kissed by him, Luke usually likes tongue- not that any of them would know that. But there's no tongue in that kiss- I'm gonna stop, this feels weird.

"Carlos, pull it together" Riley hisses from beside me.

"Is the man you have feelings for getting engaged right now? No, so cut it out" I hiss back, keeping my head held high.

"Molina, I didn't mean it like that" He says softly, I just shake it off.

"Just please stop talking to me" I whisper out.

This sucks.

"Hey, you've been distracted all day. What's going on dude?" Luke asks as he gets changed and I stand by his door.

"What? Nothing I'm fine" I mumble, kicking my foot back and forth.

Luke unbuttons his shirt with a raised eyebrow. "Ya sure? Because ever since the engagement, you've been... off"

"Oh really? I'M off?" I scoff, leaning my head back against the wall behind me.

"Yeah you are. Carlos wha-"

"It's Private Molina to you. I'm done being buddy's, my only job here is to make sure you don't die" I shout, gripping onto the dagger on my belt.

"Is it now? You think I enjoyed proposing to Carrie while the person I really want was standing right behind me? You really think I enjoyed that? Because I felt fucking miserable" Luke yells back.

"You don't care about me" I scoff, shaking my head.

"That's the thing. I care about you too fucking much, I care about you so much that it hurts, Carlos. It fucking hurts me" He shouts, throwing his arm to the side.

"How could someone like you care about me. I'm just some kid from the village and you're the big shot Prince" I yell back in a matching tone to his.

"Because I just do! Do you think I want to care about you? Ya think this is easy? I could choose anyone to have feelings for yet I have feelings for the one person it's illegal to love" He shouts, slamming his shirt down into his hamper.