Andale, gato

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someone whispers while we sleep

littered with the bones of palomas [because pigeon sounds so dirty]

'looked just like MOLE (moh-leh) saturated with chicken bones

you were there too

grasping his hand in yours

i'm about to lose it all

a twisted woman's heart

i feel it in my spine.

to that i said

on that night

i saw a cat bite into a centipede dressed as a caterpillar

poison spewing, acid-like

i strove to save its life

the cat had tried to spare me.

i linger

Wilted.Human.Debris

On my darkest days, I tend to unearth his face, on seconds of solitude, only to bask on what was but an illusion. It's so vague now. They say there's no such thing as human debris. In truth, that idea alone kept me spinning, wading, hoping. Now, well, I'm not so sure. The ground I stood turned out to be the softest soil [un pantano].

I read this once somewhere -- we glide in only the nectar of what's happened, never on the times spent crying out of anger, frustration and heartbreak. We forget the weariness of not knowing, of the minefield that a relationship can be. It was the most devastating time of that life of mine. I am never to know if he loved me, if his eyes became listless because his mind was inundated with thoughts that belonged to me. I'll never know if he touched his lips after we'd kissed like I once did. [un aguijon].

He still creeps up on me. I still look for him on unknown faces wandering unknown streets. I would have still been there if he had only said one word. Just the one [cubierta de esperanza].

I have returned to the same ground and haven't needed to see him. I'm no longer naive, no longer wearing my dreams on my hair. I hardly feel and I awoke in someone else's bed. [ya lo olvide]

La zona, la barda

burlesque beat

piles of smeared fashion rags

drum and adornments

scattered on the barely-visible dirt

half-painted

only just scrawled

another run in my thigh

i've jumped without looking

again

y que nieva

Los cielos escupen tan dócilmente

Tan cariñosos.

Como quisiera ser querida.

Desde el vientre la veo derramarse

Acosar a todo ser durmiente.

Mi alma amarga respira

Tan arrepentida.

Me arrebata el ilustre vacío

Me jala sin piedad y lleno de codicias

El mismo que consume mi piel salada

Mi faz borrosa frente al vidrio.

La pluma sujeta a mis dedos es mi arma,

Mi salvavidas,

Mi voz.

Y que nieva

Y que no deje de caer.

Como deseo ser deseada.

black luck

i wish i could have loved you more

i could have been in the here and now

unclasped from a past long-since faded

into dust

distasteful faces and sour words

caught in my soul

i could have loved you more

a man isn't supposed to cry so much

not for someone like me

i couldn't save you

i couldn't crawl out of the hole i dug through

the passing of dusty hours

clumped together over twenty-six years

i don't want to let go

i am void

i can't love you any more than this

walk away from me

sin titulo, sin nada

all things off-beat

a girl's mind swirls

in heat

all things indeed

how many times did i sit outside

and let mosquitoes feast on my belly?

glaring at the Ysleta heavens

'unending is all I can say

the grass threatened to let a whirl of friends on me

unstirred

now i'm on my feet

it's gone.

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