The Reflection I See Isn't Mine ▪︎ Regulus Black

Chapter Two ▪︎ Every Day Is The Same

His mind went back to the night Sirius left. His worst memory of Sirius.

"Reggie," Sirius begged, watching Regulus on his bed. Regulus had a book in his hand and he sighed.

"You won't leave, she'll find you." Regulus complained, not looking at Sirius.

"No she won't, she wants nothing to do with me. Please, Regulus. I don't want to leave you here."

"Why not?" Regulus huffed, not taking Sirius seriously.

Sirius teared up. "I made a promise that I'd always protect you no matter what. Please, Regulus."

"No."

Sirius' face fell. He was going to leave his brother, break their promise of being at eachother' side always, and he'd be forced not to talk to him as they were in different houses.

"I'll come back for you. I promise. I love you." Sirius whispered, kissing Regulus' head, tears pouring from his eyes. A tear dropped onto Regulus' page. Regulus didn't say goodbye. His heart was hurting too much.

Regulus opened his eyes, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked at the food, he felt his throat clench. He pushed the food away and got up.

The phone that lay on the nightstand lay, buzzing. He got onto his bed and shut his eyes. Soon, the buzzing aggravated him and turned sharply. He picked up his phone and checked who was calling him.

He had 13 missed calls each from Dorcas, Pandora and Dorcas. He exhaled, muting his phone. He placed it next to him and turned over, shutting his eyes. He couldn't tell if he wanted to talk to them or wanted to be alone without actually feeling alone.

He sat up, looking at the mirror opposite him. Bruises had started to form on his cheeks from his mother's grip. His hair had grown a bit, it reached to the middle of his cheeks. It would probably reached his chin by the time he got back to Hogwarts. He felt different but not different than he had always felt. It's like he's always been different but he's just felt it. He traced his finger over his jawline, squinting his eyes. He saw his phone lighting up beside him with calls.

His mind went back to 'she', he hadn't meant to call himself that. Regulus wasn't a she. Regulus looked harder into the mirror. Maybe, just maybe, he could see himself as a girl. He shook his head, 'Mother would never allow it, she needs someone to be the heir.' And a little voice in the back of his head, he almost missed it, 'Mother doesn't control you.'

Regulus blinked and turned to his phone. He declined the call, tapping on his friends' groupchat. He could be alone and feel not alone by texting them.

Regulus: cant call

Pandora: oh thank god you're okay! We were worried

Regulus: im fine

Barty: why weren't you responding

Regulus: I was doing smt

Barty: stop lying did she do something

Regulus: no I'm fine

Barty: bull shit

Regulus: I was just having a little breakdown, I'm fine

Dorcas: I nearly had Dumbledore sent over to you, Reg, I was so worried!

Regulus: you all worry too much, I'm fine

Barty: did she do anything

Regulus: why do you want to know

Barty: bc maybe I care??? Why else would I want to know

Regulus: I only stood up to her, it wasn't that big of a deal, I just may have told her that Sirius has a boyfriend lol

Dorcas: LMAOAOAOA

Dorcas: was she mad

Regulus: yeah, she left after I told her I just had a little meltdown after

Pandora: we're always here, love, we just got worried when you didn't respond thats all

Regulus: im allowed to come btw, when we go out, that's the reason she got mad at me in the beginning, Snape's mum sent a letter

Barty: good cool

Dorcas: Reg, if you want, the Potter's could let you stay for the rest of the holidays. I know it'll be awkward with Sirius and all but I'll be here, okay? I don't know how you'll get out if it with your parents but you're seventeen in June, of age, so you may aswell leave. I know it seems scary but Sirius made it

Regulus: I won't have any of my stuff

Barty: my dad's picking you up, you're on the second floor right? Drop some things out of your window, I'll force him to levitate them down.

Regulus: I don't know

Pandora: Reg, if you don't want to you don't have to but if you want to but you're scared, do it. Sirius was never taken back, he got out of there successfully

Regulus: bc mum and dad didn't care about him

Pandora: if they hurt you and make you feel like shit, they don't care about you. Why stay somewhere no one loves you when you can leave to somewhere people do love you?

Dorcas: I can talk with the Potter's Reg, they'll be happy to take you in. Sirius has mentioned you a couple of times, he cares, okay? Please don't put yourself though the rest of your life with them, when they die the fortune will go to you anyway, they won't disown you

Regulus: I don't care about the fucking fortune, it can burn. I'm just scared that mother will find me again and not only drag me back home but Sirius too. She knows basically everything, she's fucking terrifying, I'm scared to even breathe infront of her. I can't even eat food here without thinking about poison, thats how unsafe I feel. This house sucks but I have no choice at all

Dorcas: but I'm giving you a choice

(Read at 16:48)

Regulus: okay, I'll leave