Mozzarella strings

7.

I walked to the sink with my emty plate

"You can stay as long as you want"
Wilbur wispered as he softly grabbed my hips
Sending yet an other heatwave through my body

"I would need to get my PC"
I wispered . Not quit enough for only me to understand.

"No worry's baut that we can drive and get it now"

That would be beautifully

But I felt the anxiety forming to a big cloud inside me

Ugly thoughts rushing to my
mind

Why me

He does that to everyone ...

he lifted me up to the counter ,stood between my legs and looked me in my eyes.

"Please George"
We wispered . When he talked it was like I forgot the whole world around me . But not this time

"No"
I said ,a littler bit louder then I wanted it to come out

"I- I just can't"
"We just can't"
With these words I hoped down the counter and headed towards wardrobe

I grabbed my shoes and was about to walk outside as Wilbur grabbed my wrist

"Wait what's wron-"

I slammed the door shut
In this moment I just wanted away and I didn't care how,

Few minutes of walking later I was about to call an Uber as, suddenly a car pulled up on my side .

The windows rolled down

"At least let me bring you home"

Wilbur spoke inside of the car

I hesitated
But opened the door after a while and hoped in
__________________

The whole car ride we where silent .
The only thing I did as he pulled up to my Hause was thank him

"George can we at least talk-"

With and loud noise I shut the car door

I unlocked my door and took an final look back to Wilbur's car . He just stood their waiting for something to happen
Maybe for me to come back
But I wouldn't
He knew that

Thoughts where again kicking in my mind :

Your not special to him

Your not special at all

Your not the right one for him

Your not enough.

On the way to my bedroom I felt dizzy

I managed to get next to bed in time
Because the next thing I knew I was surrounded by darkness

________________________

As I opened my eyes again
It was about late afternoon

But the thoughts didn't go away in this time.

Leaving me with a headache and the feeling of an other incoming panic attack

I grabbed my phone and started writing

Will <3
__________________________

                                        
                                      |Hey
                                      17:30p.m

 

Hey!|
17:31p.m

Is everything ok?|
17:31p.m

   
                 |I thought about
|us Wilbur And
|believe me ,
|your the
|kindest soul I know
|but I just can't be
|with you
|You deserve so
|much better than me
|Somebody nicer
|that maybe can
|control their feelings and |thoughts.
|I can't give
|these things to you
|I am so deeply sorry
Wilbur.
7:35p.m