A Christian Romance

Chapter 22 - Decision time

He shook his head playfully.

It was the first time that Joel attended the prayer group. There was something about prayer that drew him instantaneously, and as soon as he received the invitation to share a word and join the group, he couldn't decline.
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Both Michelle and Ralph were anxious to know this young man who had started to attend church. They set a table with a few snacks and drinks and waited patiently for their two guests.

All of a sudden the doorbell chimed. Michelle rushed to the door and opened it to see Debora and Joel looking at her very ceremonially.

"Come on in!" Michelle made way for them.

As a gentleman, Joel gave Debora her priority right and entered after. He was surprised to see all the food that was prepared for them. Out of his spontaneity, he inquired:

"Have you prepared dinner for us?" He had a cheeky smile on his face.

"Well, we assumed you'd be hungry at this time of the day," Michelle replied. "Just take a seat anywhere!" She showed them to the living room.

Unlike Debora, Joel wasn't a big fan of carpets, so he took his seat on the couch next to Ralph, and Michelle, out of sympathy, sat next to the young lady on the carpet.

"So shall we start?" Joel was eager. "I'm so nervous."

Joel enjoyed teaching. He loved to share knowledge with others, even though he knew some people could become even more empowered than him. Some things had taken him years to learn, others he had to learn by himself, and there were those that he learned instantly because of other humble people who were willing to selfishly share their knowledge. Just as it was done to him, he wanted to do to others: "Freely receive, freely give" - the Bible principle that he always followed.

On that evening, he shared about the second coming of Jesus as a reminder, highlighting the verse in Romans: 'For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.' He put that verse in the context of the times he was faced with depression. Those depressive episodes happened when he left his abusive girlfriend, and when his mother passed away - he still struggled with the latter but had learned from the first experience how to cope; and Debora, of course, also made a huge difference in this season of his life, no words could convey it if he tried.

When they gathered together to eat from the table, men and women joined in pairs and each pair started their conversations.

"Now, Debora, that was a great word! Joel just hit points that I've never thought of." Michelle introduced.

"Yeah, Joel always likes to live a gospel that is not self-focused," Debora observed her roommate, as he talked to Ralph on the couch. She became distracted by him. "He's so cute!"

Michelle heard Debora's comment. The way her guest looked at Joel intrigued her.

"What about Adam, are you through with him?" She wondered.

Adam wasn't even a name that came across her mind anymore. It had been nearly two months like that. Apart from the moment when she felt attracted to Joel - probably caused by ovulation -, she had her mind completely free of men and didn't even need to make an effort to keep things like that. Thus, Michelle's question sounded very strange.

"If I am through with Adam?" Debora tried to clear the doubt.

"Yeah, are you?"

"I am, yes." Debora smiled. "I'm actually done with men." She added.

"What about him?" Michelle hinted at Joel.

"He?" Debora giggled. "He is the sweetest guy, but he's just a friend."

"Really?" Michelle couldn't entirely believe it, but Debora had shared her heart in the past, she wouldn't lie now.

Debora nodded. However, when she came to think about that, Joel was everything that she would want in a husband if she ever got married. There were things about him that annoyed her though, such as his disorganization and bad and nosy mood at times.

"Ralph and I were great friends too, until..." Michelle tried to relate.

Debora wanted to change the route that the conversation was taking:

"Michelle, please. I don't wanna think of Joel in any other way." She explained. "I could be losing a friend for life if I rush into feelings that I want to feel and aren't there."

"I understand. I'm sorry." She apologized.

"You don't need to be sorry, it's just me. I rushed into things with my first boyfriend," She sighed just recalling all that she went through. "And it was a disaster." She added. "I rushed into things with Adam as well. Even though I felt things for him that I've never felt for anyone before, I should have never pressured him to do anything. I regret the things I've done and said to him."

"But, if I heard you correctly, you want to be a celibate for life?" Michelle just wanted to make sure that she heard things well.

"I don't know. I've been thinking about that." Debora disclosed. "I'm so free, so well with God, like never before, you know?" She explained. "As long as I am connected to Him," She pointed upwards. "I'm never gonna feel lonely."

"Well, Debora, what a pity! I'm sure you could make some man very happy someday." Michelle was disappointed. "Or are you just thinking that out of fear?" The truth hit her.

"Fear of what?" Debora looked Michelle in the eye.

"Fear of failure." She explained. "You had two failed romances." She acknowledged. "That affects the confidence."

Debora was speechless for a moment. She had never thought of that. If it was fear that made her consider celibacy, then she needed to work that out with God.