Before It's Too Late

Chapter 17

David put his arms around her and accepted Avery's pushing and punching on his chest. He knew he deserved it all and even more. If her beating him black and blue could make up for all he had done, he would gladly offer every inch of his body for her to hit. It numbed his body from the pain, knowing that the hurt he caused was incomparable to what she'd been going through. He couldn't think of anything that could measure or heal her from all his betrayal and lies.

"What did I do wrong to deserve this?" Avery whimpered. Her hands slowly stopped punching David's chest. The sorrow and frustration were evident in her voice and trembling hands. He embraced her tighter, not wanting to let go. He wished Avery could feel his overflowing regrets and never-ending love through his arms tight around her shaking body.

With Avery's face in his chest and eyes welling, David mustered the courage to say the things running through his mind. "Please listen to what I wanted to say. Believe it or not, I never stopped loving you. I was a douche for making a wrong choice at that moment that led us here. You were never the reason or the problem. You are perfect in my eyes. The reason I fell in love with you. The same reason I'm so messed up knowing that despite you being you, I still made that one jackass choice that I will regret for the rest of my life."

"You said you ended it? Then, when you begged me for forgiveness, you promised to make things right. You swore you would never hurt me again."

David lifted Avery's chin slowly and cupped her face. Then, straight in the eye, he continued talking. "I ended it. But when she came back a month after telling me about the pregnancy, it scared me to tell you. She told me she had no one. I may be a schmuck, but the baby is still my responsibility. So I told her it's you I love, and you're the only one II will marry. So the baby wouldn't change anything between us."

Avery couldn't believe what David said. Her eyes shot daggers at him as she distanced her body from his arms. "How could you say the baby wouldn't change anything between us? What were you thinking? How long did you plan to keep the truth? Were you planning to set up baby playdates before you admitted everything?"

"I didn't think right. My decision to hide it was an action based on impulse. I knew I had to take responsibility as the father. But I can only give my heart to you, Ave. I only want a family with you, with our baby. Please believe me."

"I had been a fool for believing you. Look where it brought me. I have only wanted to be enough for you since I had you. Even after discovering you were cheating, I trusted every word you said. How stupid of you to think that you can keep hiding this? You never stopped loving me? But you kept on hurting me repeatedly. We don't deliberately hurt the ones we love, David."

David gradually sat back in the chair. His eyes were begging for her forgiveness. All his secrets came back right at him. HARD. It was crazy difficult not knowing what was going on in Avery's mind. The complexity of their situation was overwhelming. It was like a court case he couldn't find any way to win over.

Meanwhile, Avery's mind and heart were at war. Her heart couldn't deny she still had feelings for him. She can easily say how she hated him, but it was torture knowing that hating him didn't make her unlove him instantly. But her mind was like an alarm that kept sounding, reminding her of all the lies. She was torn between following her mind and following her heart. To forgive and forget again? For whose sake? Would it be for the baby? 

She took a deep breath. She needed to decide. "Let's call off the wedding." 

David's face lost all color. He stood up and paced inside the room. He was speechless. After walking several times, he sat back and reached for Avery's hand. He clasped his hand in hers. Avery sat on the bed, looking beyond the hospital wall before her.

"I can't live without you, babe. I love you so much that the thought of losing you is killing me." David buried his face in the bed's side in their clasped hands. Avery fought the urge to look at him even after she felt his tears in her hand. Instead, his uncontrollable sobbing echoed in the four corners of the room.

"But you can't continue living while I'm dying in your lies." Avery's voice was quavering.

David lifted his head and clasped Avery's hand with both of his. "Ave, babe... I can't. I won't. My life is nothing without you. Please..."

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