Fleeting Moments-Ramayan Oneshots

Artificial Affection

"Why don't you two just sort it out with something mutual?" Bharat asked innocently. "Something that you both share. Like, if me and, say, Shrutakirti had an argument, not saying that we do-" Shrutakirti huffed. "-we'd solve it by having a simple art session. Not caring about which is better. We both like delicate and fine art, right? So we'd both try something like paper quilling, and we wouldn't fight over that!"

"You're so naive, Bharat!" Mandavi sighed. "You're lucky you have me, or else your social life would not exist. Aside from dear Kirti, the younger half are very violent. Lakshman bhaiyya doesn't need to be spoken for, but Urmila and Shatrughan should settle this the old fashioned way. With their fists." She brought out a referee's whistle from her multipurpose moccasins. "Aaaaand-the match starts now! Opponents, get into a wrestling position!"

Before Urmila and Shatrughan could actually start fighting, Ram got in the middle. "Stop, stop stop." he said desperately. "Not everything needs to be settled with violence. We can solve this easily. I think what Bharat said is good. Something mutual, that you both like. It's not very realistic-" he eyed the two fighters uneasily. "That they should get along, but anything can happen if it's for the good. I'm sure of it!"

"Besides," Lakshman added. "Mila, you cannot fight in a lehenga. If you should have an equal chance as Shatru, you should change into a palooza or something. And Shatru, remove your sword for God's sakes. And no, Mila, you cannot use your nails to scratch his face, that'll be both traumatic for his face, which is his only asset, and against the rules. Shatru, take off that dagger at once and return it to me, it's mine. No, I can assure you, it's mine. See the L engraved into it? Yes, Shatru, it's not a straight, weirdly drawn S, it's an L. No weapons on the mat. Do you idiots know nothing about wrestli-"

He paused once he realized everyone was staring at him. "No-" Shatrughan said, his voice careful. "I think we can come to a compromise between both ways. We can fight over something mutual!"

Before Ram's eyes could pop, and he could shout a "NO-", Shatrughan and Urmila each grabbed the arm of Lakshman. "We can fight over Lakshman!" Urmila declared excitedly. "He's your brother and my husband, it's about as even in terms of mutual relationship as we can get, isn't it Sita didi?"

"No, Urmi, that's not a good idea-" Sita began cautiously.

"Please don't." Bharat begged.

"Absolutely not! Where do you all get such creative ideas?!" Ram cried, affronted that the person who obviously most belonged to him should be fought over by these two uneducated peasants (but imagine he was thinking that in a nice, godly sort of way).

"Not Laksh bhaiyya!" Shrutakirti shrieked.

"DO IT! I DARE YOU!" Mandavi roared.

"So it's decided!" Shatrughan declared, still gripping tightly onto Lakshman's hand. "We're fighting over my dear Lakshu!"

"NO!" Lakshman yelled, seeming to register what was happening a few seconds later than everybody else, still trying to get over the fact that his twin and his wife were suddenly being so affectionate with him. "Maa?" he asked Sumitra, who was watching everything with a twinkle in her eye, which she had inherited from Ram. "Aren't they technically also mutually related to you?"

Before he could speak further, Sumitra had disappeared in the educated defense of her life, and Lakshman pouted. "So it's decided then!" Shatrughan continued. "In order to figure out who wins this battle, we shall fight over Lakshman! My dear brother." And everybody else was left watching as the fighting began again.

----O----

It was late morning, the crickets had long since stopped chirping, and the sun was high up in the sky, and Lakshman took his bow and arrow out of the weapons room. Somewhere in time, he and Urmila had come to an agreement. If he started in the late morning, he should end early afternoon, so they could spend mornings and afternoons together. Clearing his throat, he beckoned lightly for the servant to set the target where it was.