Shoelaces

Roses

I finally manage to leave my room, for the sole reason of seeing Rebecca's garden. Actually, I don't exactly know if it's going to be there now that she's gone. I hope it is though. I really hope it is. I make it up to the floor the gardening room is on, and start picking up my pace, my nerves running through me. Why does it matter so much if her garden is still here? It's just a garden.

Yeah, Darrion, but it's her garden. And this is all you have left.

I shut myself up as I open the door to walk in. I walk over to the section where she was growing her flowers, and there they are. Sitting pretty. I feel like I can breathe again. Rebecca's flowers are still here. A little bit of her is still here.

And that's when I see another planter box next to her section. Full of roses.

Even when she's gone, she's still guiding me.

---

I end up back in my room, slumping down on my bed, when I hear knocks on my door.

"May I come in?" Alex says from the other side of the door, as another set of footsteps comes to a close as well.

"Um, yeah," I stutter out, hopping out of my bed. I haven't spent any time with the either of them since I started locking myself up. Again. But if I'm really gonna get Santi back, I'm gonna need their help. I get to the mirror to make sure that I don't look like a complete mess before continuing. "Yeah, come on in."

Soon enough, Alex and Haley walk in, with sympathetic looks on their faces. Even Haley has one and that never happens. I snap in chairs for the three of us to sit in, and I take a seat.

"How is everything going, Darrion?" Alex asks, trying not to sound too pitiful.

"Alex, cut the bullshit," Haley says, stepping in front on him and sitting down next to me. "You good?" It gets a small laugh out of me.

"I think I'm getting there," I say, honestly. Why try to keep anything in? I got nothing to lose. "After our train trip in the mountains, and after my one-year death-iversary, I watched some EarthVision and, uh, basically saw the start of a new relationship for Santi. And, uh, long story short, that kinda fucked me up a little because I knew I should be happy for him, but I really just felt like shit. So then, I pulled a classic Darrion, and made everything worse by taking it out on the one limb friend I have here. Well, used to have. Because after we made up, she left. She felt some click. So, she left," I manage to get out before covering my face with my palms. I only let a few tears out, before I wipe them away. "Sorry, it's stupid."

"Not at all, Darrion. What's stupid is Alex's obsession with comedy, not your feelings," Haley says, giving me a side hug while we both remain seated. Alex then takes his seat, facing the both of us.

"What she said, minus the part about the comedy," he says, pointedly. "And, Darrion, we're always here for you."

"Except when there's a fashion show I've been dying to see," Haley adds, stopping the hug.

"I'm glad I got Alex as a host, not you," I say, feeling a little more like myself.

"Rude," she chirps back, rolling her eyes.

"Speaking of comedy shows-" Alex adds.

"Oh, no," Haley interjects.

"Speaking of comedy shows, there's this one I've been dying to see, if the both of you wanted to come along."

"I would love to," I add before Haley can say anything else. It's about time that I get out of my room.

The show ends up being pretty funny and puts me in a better mood than I have been for a while. Or maybe it was the company. Regardless, it puts me in a good enough mood to ask the question I've been stewing on ever since Rebecca left. We get a few steps out from the comedy show room before I finally get the confidence to say it.