Artificial Insecurities

Chapter 1

    It was 4 am and I was on my way home. It was a Tuesday and I had to say it was looking really nice. The snow floating down looked like I was in a galaxy going really fast. The lights of the city light up the driveway picking up the inches of snow drowning the concrete. I parked my Sedan next to John's rusty red pickup. I carefully unlocked the door and quietly closed and locked it. I felt like John was still awake, the sound of tinkering gave it away but it could have just been my imagination. John quickly hid something, something small, in his jumble of little boxes stashed on homemade shelves.

    " Hey Daniel, your back from your shift! So... I think I'm gonna go to bed now, um, good night!" And with that he casually walked to his bed and thumped onto it, not even trying to get under the covers.

    "And good night to you..." I wandered over to my room and flicked on the light. I pulled out some fluffy pajamas, royal blue with lime and cyan specs and lines across the pair. Tomorrow I don't have work so I thought I should sleep in.

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    The cold, crisp, nippy air of winter woke me up. John probably just left so I got up and drowsily wandered into the kitchen and pulled out a bagle. I spread some butter, I was so tired, and honey onto the toasted beagle. I took a bite... and I liked it. It was pretty good.

    The fact that I was so tired didn't stop me from shoveling snow. I finished the bagle, put on a snow suit and clambered out into the cold. I made a massive snow pile in our backyard, and although I'm an adult, I made a snow fort. I made a snowman in the front yard.

    I looked around at everyone's yards, children were playing outside, throwing snowballs and having a good time. Oh how I wanted to join them, be fighting in the fury of snow, imagination taking over.

    Anyone miss imagination? I sure do, now it comes in spurts every so often. Little jolts of fun. Ideas would pop into my head but either it's too silly to be true, it's way too realistic or I just wouldn't have anyone to talk with. Friends are harder to make now. Ever realize that? Or how we trail off into an abyss of wonder?

    I popped back into reality when a shot of cold hit my face, I hissed with the snow. A few kids across the street laughing. I smiled back. With the snow shoveled I headed back inside and made some hot chocolate. The warmth of the cup heating my hands, thawing the cold. This brought back memories of my sister and I playing in the snow, we would have competitions like who could stay outside longer. Whoever won would get extra marshmallows. How we all miss the good ol' days. The sweet bliss of not having to do mostly anything. I sip my coco, still hot, and turn on the tv.

    The jingle of keys, the opening of the door, the steps inside, John has arrived home.

    " I see you cleared the driveway, you did a nice job at it!" John hung his coat and took off his boots. " Traffic sucks on the main roads go the back way if you leave. "

    " Sure will! Thanks." And with that he was off downstairs. Little conversation but helpful. I heard the hard clicks of a keyboard coming from downstairs. Man he's working hard, but for what? Eh, it's his business. I unpaused the show and walked over to the kitchen and started cooking dinner.

    I walked over to the drawers and pulled out a royal blue apron. I wrapped it around and tied it behind me. I took out a matching cutting board from the drawer above and set it on top of the counter. I wandered over to the fridge, scanning the food for what to make. I could make tacos, sure that'll do. I took out the corn tortillas, onions, peppers, some ground beef and some avocados.

    I slice the onions into slivers and heat the frying pan. As I stir I hear the sizzle of the onions caramelising. Next I slice the peppers into cubes and slits. I prefer a variety of shapes. I throw those in along with the peppers and stir. I let that sit for about 5 minutes and added the ground beef. I use a fork to break it up into smaller chunks. I stir this until all the beef is nice and brown. I take out two plates and put the tortillas onto them. I put them in the microwave for a little less than 30 seconds. When they are nice and warm, I put the beef, peppers and onions in a strip right down the middle of the tortilla.

    For the avocados, I sliced and mashed them in a small bowl. I added some pepper and a little salt, some packets of seasoning should do. And with that I spreaded the guacamole on top. Maybe I should have done that first... too late now! I place a little tomato on top as a finish.

    " Hey John, food's done!" I heard a clash and a grunt, " Everything ok there?"

    " All fine, just some, uh, problems that's all." He clambered up the stairs and wandered into the living room. I handed him his taco and we ate together in silence.