The Wedgie Cop

The Gym P.3

"We're BACCCKKKKK!!" Nate shouts. "Awwwww, did the wittle boy piss his pants? Don't feel bad, you're not the only one." Dylan trails after him, a noticeable wet spot on his pants." "It seemed logical at the time, I am sitting in a toilet." I mumble, after spitting out the disgusting underwear when the remove the tape. "Well, time to play a new game. It's called Don't Fall. Come on." He forcefully rips off the duct tape connecting me to the wall, and leads me out to the Rock Climbing center. It's late afternoon now. The sun's gonna set soon. I take a look up. Extending up to 20 feet, it connects to a criss-cross of beams, rolling logs, bridges, and rope swings, a highly impressive high-ropes course. "Ok, everyone, you'll need to triple up." Aidan and Derek joins us, and tosses Dylan and I 2 pairs of tighty whities each. I reluctantly pull them on over my sopping wet pair, as Nate has a firm grip on my waistband. Dylan and Derek wisely does the same. "Ok, while Aidan harnesses you guys up, I'll explain the game. You three all get these foam bats, and go up there" I gulp. 30 feet falls aren't covered in my insurance. "Don't worry, you guys will be wearing harnesses." Aidan attaches a clip through 3 layers of legholes that I'm wearing, giving me an ominous tug as he moves on. "The rope's connected all the way to the ceiling, and it's designed that the length's automatically adjusted as you go higher, but not as you go lower. So once you fall off the structure, the briefs will catch you right in midair... Granted, it may take a couple of seconds for the 'catching your fall' function to kick in, so I estimate a 7 feet drop before you pause in midair-meaning once you fall off, you can't get back on, and you'll be painfully hoisted by your underwear, until either the game ends or they rip, letting you fall down all the way to the giant swimming pool down below. You guys will try to knock us off with the bats. C'mon, tell me you guys haven't ever fantasized of pushing us into a volcano. It's the same thing, like a graduation party for Derek! We'll be going up there to join the fun, but we'll give you guys a 20 minute head start. Good Luck!"

Because we don't really have a choice, we start climbing up the rock climbing wall, the harness taking the excess rope away instantly. I reach the top first, and tentatively start on the beam that feels far too wobbly. After we get ourselves settled, Derek on a beam, Dylan on a bridge, and me trying to balance myself on the rolling log. Suddenly, a harsh tug from the rope sharpened my pain. "Agh!" Aidan gives a devious smile from down below, holding the other end of our ropes, which are anchored to the ground. All three of us wince simultaneously. "Haha, time to cause some pain to some nerds." Nate laughs, cracking his knuckles. He too is in in at least 3 pairs of briefs and harness, just like the rest of us. "Aidan insisted I play by the rules if I go up here, so just for today..." He rubs his butt, while flexing his 6 pack at the same time. He starts running towards Dylan with his foam bat. "YOU FIRST!!!" Dylan backs up a couple of steps, while holding up his bat. He takes a wild swing but just before he reaches him, Dylan manages to strike him at his side. The blow slightly disoriented him, and he misses. Dylan takes his chance, and dashes towards the next obstacle, a big gap meant for him to jump across. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!!!!" Nate says, as he charges. Dylan takes a frightened look back and takes a big jump to jump to the other side. He just makes it, but Nate's right behind him. He wastes no time in effortlessly leaping the gap, and pouncing right on top of Dylan. "Gotcha now!" He gives a sharp kick to the poor kid's balls, and he doubles over. "AHHHH!" he falls onto the beam. Nate kneels down to him, and covers his index fingers in spit, jamming them into the poor boy's ears. All Dylan can do is struggle, but with Nate's weight on him it's fruitless. Nate stands up, lodges his foot into Dylan's back, and nudges him off the beam, a look of triumph in his eyes. He drops for a good ten feet, and stops in a cruel jolt that left him groaning and crying out in pain and mercy. "Ahh, AHH AGHHHHHHH LET ME DOWN PLEASEEE!!!!" Dangling 20 feet off the ground in just his 3 pairs of underwear, he looks pathetic. Since he's a little halfway down the length of the warehouse, he's too far away to find refuge from the rock climbing wall or the rope's course, with just the shimmering pool down below. He squeezes his eyes shut and holds on tightly to the rope that's suspending him, all the while wildly kicking into thin air. "Two to go!" As Nate stands there laughing, I sense someone moving behind me... It's Aidan. He's come up here too, trying to sneak up behind me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him raising his bat. At the same time, Nate runs in pursuit of Derek. As I see Aidan swing the bat behind him I duck it, turn around, and jab him in the stomach with my own bat. "Oof" He says, clutching his side. Now that I can fully see him, he's in the same outfit as all of us. Come to think of it, if Derek and I fought together, we could manage to push them off before they do us. Then I'd get some much needed revenge of watching the two hanging by their undies. Hardening my resolve, I turn back to the situation at hand. Derek and Nate have joined us on our beam. All of us prepare our bats for a duel. As Nate and I exchange furious blocks and parries, he repeatedly manages the upper hand because of his brute strength. As he has me on my knees and brings down the bat one more time. I block it and hold my position. I quickly take a look at Derek's situation, and Aidan has him in a headlock, and is brutally yanking his rope, giving him harsh wedgies as he pleads and whimpers into Aidan's arm. I know I can't beat Nate, he's too strong for me, so I make my big decision. I push Nate back for a split second, and hurl my bat at Aidan like a foam tomahawk. The bat catches Aidan perfectly in the neck, and he slips off the beam, carrying Derek with him in the headlock. I verify that both have fell off when I see the sudden rigidness of their lines, the sound of stretching fabric, and both their screams of pain. Got him. Somewhere in the distance, I hear a door open, and close softly. Maybe a early-morning bodybuilder? I guess it's pos---AGHHHHH!!!!! I arch my back and drop to my knees as 35,000 volts of electricity enters my body. I swear I can smell a bit of my cooked flesh. Completely immobilized, I see Nate staring at me with a malicious grin. "Cool right? I wasn't supposed to bring it up here, but I figured it was worth it." He flips the taser in the air, my taser if I'm not mistaken, and catches it again. I know Dylan, Aidan, and Derek are all painfully watching me and I want to get it over with, but he handcuffs me (With my own handcuffs from the night I met them) and takes his sweet time with his speech. "Of course, I wouldn't do that if Sean was here, he always thinks he's so clever with the way he tortures his victims, but really he couldn't make a nerd cry to save his life. He counts on me to do that. He never thought outside the box, denying my most creative ideas, and taking credit for the few ones he approves. Well, I'm just gonna take you, Dyl, and go. Sean won't know until he comes back later, and it'll take the other guys"--He gestures smugly to the desperate, still hanging boys behind/below him--"Give or take an hour to fall. We're gonna go to my new pad, they'll never figure out where it is. But first-" He lifts me up by my underwear, and I kick my legs around, desperate to kick him where it hurts. "I don't want you to be left out from the others." My legs go limp as I accept my fate. And just as I feel his grip loosening...a swoosh of air behind me, the thud of the foam bat striking him full across the face...