Learning To Love - Jamie Campbell Bower

Jamie Prison

He jutted his lower lip out. "I don't like science."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh you don't? 'Cuz I think we've got chemistry."

Jamie whistled. "Smooth."

"Damn right."

For the next week, Jamie and I hung out just like this. I'd finish work, he'd finish doing whatever he decided he was going to do that day (he'd made friends since coming to Perth) and we'd spend time together. Although, we weren't together together... There were certainly some moments - an accidental hand touch, getting slightly too close to each other, extended stares full of tension, but nothing went on afterwards. Lying in bed at night countless times I'd think to myself, what am I doing? I hadn't felt this happy in someone's company since the time Peter and I were going well, and I couldn't deny the warm fuzzy feeling I'd get when I was close to Jamie.

I came to the conclusion I was too shy to make a move, and, what if Jamie didn't feel the same way? What if I was just some girl to him? Just a friend? I couldn't tell, I didn't want to ask, and so, I waited.

 Another thing we'd gotten into was running. Running? Yep, running. Jamie had bought it up during a movie sesh, and I used to run before the accident, and I figured, why not? So when the sun sank in the sky and twilight came around, Jamie would knock on my door, all kitted up, and we'd run around the park. Jamie's rediculously long legs gave him an advantage, but I managed to keep up with him most of the time. Key word: most. But the rush of endorphins from the exercise was wonderful, and we'd finish running flushed and grinning. One evening, as we walked back to the flat, Jamie had reached for my hand. He'd done this before, of course, but this time the action had meaning behind it. He knew it. I knew it. I'd taken his hand, and he's grinned like he'd won a hundred bucks. I was grinning, too.

Saturday rolled around again, but before Jamie and I were to hang out, I decided to run some errands in the city. Driving in the middle of Perth was a pain, so I chose to take the train instead.

This turned out to be a very bad idea.

After two hours of shopping and errands, I had filed into a train carriage and sat down. The train doors closed with a swish and I popped my earbuds and turned up my music. Runaway by Ed Sheeran started playing. As my thoughts wandered, my eyesight did too, and they fell upon a short, medium build man with short brown hair and glasses.

It couldn't be.

My mind did the calculations. The accident was 10 months ago,  he was on parole after 8 months...

He looked up, as if sensing my stare. He never met my gaze, just looked down at his phone again, but it was enough for me to confirm who he was.

Peter.

A crushing feeling took over my heart, and the sensation of falling invaded my stomach again, but only much, much worse. A sweat broke out on the nape of my neck, my heart rate picked up...

"Now reaching Perth underground."

My stop. I stood abruptly, waiting impatiently for the door to open and let me out of the train. The doors clicked open and I stepped out, happy to get lost in the busteling crowd of people walking towards the exit, away from Peter...

As I walked the street that connected to the one with my apartment on it, I tried to calm myself down. This is no big deal. He didn't see me, I'm not freaking out now that I've left the train, everything is fine... And everything was, it seemed, until I was inside my flat, where the reality of what had happened dawned on me. Peter was out of prison, free from confinement, free to find me. Although, he had a permanent restraining order. But this didn't calm me at all. Peter was still out there.

I burst into my flat, shutting the door quickly, it doesn't close properly and is still open slightly, but I don't care. I drop my shopping bags in the kitchen and stumbling to the living room. Suddenly, Jamie walks in. In my rush to get home, I'd forgotten he was coming over.

"Heidi?" 

I'm standing in the middle if the living room, hyperventilating. An alarmed expression takes over his face.

"Heidi! What's wrong? What happened?" He starts towards me.

"I-I saw HIM"

"Him?" he pauses, and his eyes glow with recognition. "Oh...Heidi" he reaches towards me.

I don't catch the rest of his sentence and I sink to the ground, my heart roaring in my ears too loud and my breath too fast and heavy. He takes me in his arms, lips moving rapidly with words I'm too far gone to hear. Although I usually am able to fight off break downs like this, this one hit me like a tidal wave, and this time, I let the waves wash over me. A high pitched sound rings in my ears as I hug him, curled into his chest, in the middle if my living room.

Suddenly, it all stopped.

And that's when I started crying. He held me and shushed me in his soothing tones, rocking me back and forth while the worst of the sobs wrecked through my body, whispering reassurances I still couldn't hear.

When I was calmer, he scooped me up carried me to bed. Despite his slim figure, he was strong. He placed me on the bed and pulled the covers over me. "It's going to be ok." He hushed me. "Everything will be alright. You're safe, nobody can hurt you." My tears were drying as I looked at him coherently for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Stay." My voice shook.

"I will," he said, stroking a lingering tear away. "Close your eyes."

I do as he says, and I feel the bed move as he shifts his weight so he's lying next to me. He winds his arm carefully around me and I hear him sigh contently. As my breathing slowly returns to normal, my eyelids close and darkness washes over me.

*****

Had to mess around with past and present tense in that last bit, sorry if it's not quite right :/

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