Gem and I

There's a first time for everything

He stays quiet which make Marzanna instantly feel nervous,

"It's called self- harming and I've been doing different versions of it since then. Whether it be drinking, smoking, pushing people away, not getting attached, over- eating, eating nothing at all. It didn't matter as long as they were quiet."

He didn't say anything. Instead he just wraps his arms around her gently pulling her into his lap. He tries to look at her but she hides her face,

"I don't want you to see me crying." 

He just nods and holds her close which gives her a sense of relief but also of anxiety.

"Why won't you say anything?" she blurts out.

"What do you want me to say?" he responds calmly.

She shrugs her shoulders becoming slightly irritated, "I don't know! That I'm a fucking psychopath that need to be locked away in a insane asylum. That I'm a monster! A suicidal freak!"

"I don't think that's true."

"So what do you think?"

"I think your a bit broken and you have a long way to go to get over your trauma but your definitely not a monster or a freak. It's okay that you have these mental illnesses but you don't have to let me change who you are."

She leans forward taking in a relieving breath, "Why are you so nice?"

He smiles against her shoulder, "I'm only nice to you."

She leans back relaxing against his chest slightly playing with one of his hands feeling a strong flutter in her stomach.

"What the hell?" she thinks to herself

(A/n Bitch! Do you have butterflies?! Alexa! play butterflies by Michael Jackson.)

The nurse and doctor come into the room,

"Well we were able to find  your file Miss. Marzanna. It seems you have a history of suicidal tendencies and have been on multiple anti- depressants that you said, "Don't work." 

She instantly becomes uncomfortable always hating this part on the process.

"Due to this incident were going to putting you on a new one with a high dosage. This medicine also helps with anxiety. Its called Escitalopram you'll take it once a day to keep everything in balance, okay?"

She nods.

"My nurse is going to unwrap your bandages and clean everything, okay?"

Kai could feel her body jolt at those words "Is she scared?" he thinks to himself holding her tighter trying to help.

"Wait! I don't want to, please."

"Ma'am I have to. If it goes untreated you could possibly get a skin infection."

The nurse notices the scared look on her face so he just leaves to get supplies. The doctor shoots kai a look that says, "Convince her please." and he walks out to.

"Hey, What's wrong. You know they have to clean it."

She shakes her head, "He's going to hurt me. I- I don't want to."

He turns her face to get a good look at her to which he sees she has this distant look in her eyes.

"That nurse just wants to help you. I promise."

She starts roughly rubbing her wrist which is one of her worst nervous ticks.

"Stop, your going to hurt yourself." he says holding her hands,

Holding her hands causes her to come back to reality, "Stay! I know you hate them but please stay. I don't want to be alone. That way he can make sure he doesn't hurt me."

"Okay. I'll stay."

The nurse comes back in setting up his supplies in the bedside table.

"Are you staying with her Sir?"

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere."

He smiles, "Okay, may I see your arm?"

Marzanna couldn't bring herself to move her arm so Kai gently grabs it laying it straight out. Both of them look away as he cuts the bandage away and starts cleaning. She squirms and whimpers leaning against Kai for support.

Kai looks at her arm the stiches going from her wrist nearly reaching her elbow. He could see the other scars below it pale compared to her skin.  

"Your doing great. Almost done."

"Please hurry."

He finishes up and goes to the next arm gaining the same reaction as the last. He cleans up and quickly leaves out of the room.

"I'm proud of you. You were scared but did a amazing job."

The process leaves her exhausted, "Thank you, Can I take a nap? "

He chuckles, "Yeah. You should rest." He helps her lay down and slips out of the bed after.

"Where are you going?"

"Just to hop in the shower. Don't worry I'm not going to leave."

"Ok."

She forces herself to stay awake until he gets out of the shower,

He slips back into the bed, "Why aren't you asleep?"

She yawns, "I wanted to wait for you."

He pulls her close, "Well I'm here now so get some rest."

"Thank you for staying with me Kai."

"Of course."