in my wildest dreams - a taylor swift fanfiction

24 - so many things that i wish you knew, so many walls up

"But why-? Why didn't you pick up when I called you? You know how worried I get when you don't pick up. It doesn't matter if we've just been fighting or not, I need you to answer my calls and texts! I was so- So worried!"

She was starting to raise her voice a little but I knew exactly what she was talking about and how upset she must be.

"I'm sorry! Okay!? I don't know why, I was just angry. And then I forgot to call you back and fell asleep." I was sobbing and had to yell to get my words out.

"You scared me so much Skye! You can't just do that! You can't just leave and not let me know where you are or if you're okay!" Taylor was crying too and it probably looked pathetic if an outsider saw us, but we were both really upset.

"I'm sorry! But, like, why does it even matter anyway? You can just send me back to the group home or wherever and not have to deal with me anymore!"

The words slipped out of my mouth before I had time to stop myself, and my hand quickly flew up to cover my lips. I had been planning not to tell Taylor, even though she'd asked me about it several times and I knew she had realized something was bothering me. Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now.

I could tell she was about to reply because she opened her mouth, but then her face twisted to look confused and she frowned at me. "What?" she asked quietly, barely above a whisper.

I looked down to the floor and continued to silently cry, not wanting to risk saying anything else that would upset her even more.

"Honey, why did you say that? Why would I send you back?" she asked and all her anger and everything seemed to have disappeared.

I shrugged and didn't look up at her as I spoke through my tears, "Because-! I'm only worrying and upsetting you... We've only lived together for, like, a week. What if you realize you don't want to live with me anymore?"

"Why would you think that? I wouldn't have fostered you if I didn't want to keep you here with me." She sounded confused and her voice was so gentle when she spoke.

"It's not like my previous foster homes thought they would want to send me back either. But they did. Maybe I'm, uh, too annoying. Or not tidy enough. Or maybe I take up too much space, or I'm not pretty enough to be seen with you in public, or too emotional, or listen to too much music..." I trailed off after realizing that I had started listing some of the reasons my previous foster families had given me for wanting to kick me out.

Taylor didn't say anything which made me panic a little, and I thought that maybe she had decided I was right, but then suddenly I felt her move toward me until she had crouched down in front of me. She grabbed my hand and, since I was still looking down, she positioned herself so that I was forced to look into her face as she looked up at me.

"Skye, nothing you say or do is going to convince me to send you back. I love you."

Her words made me cry even more and she stood up to her full height and pulled me into a hug. I had experienced so many emotions today and it felt really good to just let everything out in Taylor's arms as we held onto each other. She didn't pull away as she continued talking.

"I never want to lose you, Skye. And that's the reason why I was so upset today. I was scared of what would happen if you hung out with people who would make you do stupid shit. But I'm sorry, I was going to apologize to you before, when I realized you had left. I don't want to take your friends away from you, I just need to know that you are safe."

My cries had died down but I didn't want to let go of Taylor so I snuggled into her as she continued. "I thought that I might've lost you when I called you tonight and you didn't answer. There were so many thoughts going through my mind. At one point, I was convinced you had left the state to get as far away from me as possible, and the thought that something really bad might've happened to you crossed my mind too. I was just so scared."

"Taylor I'm so sorry," I said again.

"I know. It's okay now. You're alright, you're here with me. I don't ever want to lose you Skye. No matter what happens, I'm not letting you go."

Finally, she gently pried my arms away from her but kept her hand on my left arm as her blue eyes looked into mine.

"I need you to know and understand that because I'm sure this won't be the last time that we fight or something happens, but I don't know if I'll be able to handle you running off again, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay. I'm real sorry."

"You don't have to keep apologizing, baby. I know you're sorry. I am too. But I'm also really happy that you are here with me again and that you're safe and unharmed. I love you, Skye. Don't you ever forget or doubt that."

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A/N

Hi! For anyone who recently found this story, I don't really have a schedule for when I update but I usually try to publish a chapter on either Saturdays or Sundays and then a second chapter sometime during the week.

However, I think I mentioned it a while ago but I have a lot on my plate at the moment so please don't be mad if I don't have time to publish a chapter or two one week, I'll have it up as soon as I can♥️

Also, can we take a moment to appreciate the new emojis?? I am absolutely obsessed with them!!

🫶🪩🫧