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Week 8 Part 4 (Wednesday)

     "It's... a little difficult, and sometimes you don't want to dance anymore after, but she's only doing it for the best and she really wants you to succeed," I stammer, making a lie off the top of my head.

     "I'm not ever gonna stop dancing," she promises to herself and I look out the window again.

     I don't want to hear it. She seems so happy and chipper, and so confident. It's going to be crushed. I was like her. A naïve seven-year-old getting the opportunity of a lifetime. Then that opportunity of a lifetime gave me an eating disorder. I hope Ms. Abby won't pick on her the same way she did when I was her age.

     Kamryn's bouncing in her seat as we pull up to the studio, while my stomach is churning in reluctance. It's crazy what eight weeks will do to a person. I wasn't even afraid to eat eight weeks ago. Now it's a struggle to keep down a piece of plain toast without wanting to throw it up and feeling so much guilt for eating it. Toast, while safe, should not be eaten until you burn calories, Lilliana.

     Elliana isn't coming today either. The work permits still aren't for her to really be a part of the Dance Moms crew on the show. At least she won't be able to get even more suspicious if she is at all. I wish I was her. But Mom is making me go so we can pay our bills, for me to be famous, and for her to be famous.

     I notice when we are waiting in the dancer's den that Gia and Pressley aren't talking. They always seemed like buddy-buddies. And now they won't even talk to each other. When one sneezes, the other will say, "Bless you," but that's about it. They've also unfollowed each other from Instagram. Their friendship seems donzo. Press and Gia are gonna abandon you next, Lilliana. They hate you and they deserve it. The moms go up to the stands.

     "Kamryn, I want you to wait outside. We will signal to your mom to knock on the door. All of you must act as if you've never met each other," the producers explain and we nod in understanding.

     We stretch and generally chat for a couple of minutes before we hear a knock on the door, marking Ms. Abby to announce, "Oh, I think our guest is here. Hello sweetie, come on in!"

     In walks Kamryn and her mom, Ms. Adriana. We all say our hellos and hug her, welcoming her into the ALDC. Ms. Abby hugs her too before coming over to talk to us.

     "You all know Kammy, right? You and your moms met in the final audition. You are going to be doing a solo this week. And you are going to swing Elliana in the group dance," Ms. Abby reveals and Kamryn looks like a mix of scared and excited.

     "I think we got this," Ms. Adriana confidently says, and then Ms. Abby dismisses the mother, turning our attention back into the group dance.

     "All right, girls. This is called 'Blue Bloods.' You're aristocratic, right? Because you have blue blood. Throughout the routine, it turns dark, and the blood actually gets on your arms and gets on your legs. So it's like all this blue blood has tainted you. Sarah, you are going to be our beginning and end, our unofficial lead if you will. Gianna, show her the choreo," Ms. Abby explains, and we all step to the side so Ms. Gianna can show Sarah the choreography.

     It's elegant and royal. You are neither, Lilliana. You are sloppy and clumsy. Ms. Gianna then blocks us in. Kamryn picks up the choreography really well, despite being only seven. She can also seem to block out the muffled argument that Ms. Ashley and Ms. Joanne are currently having. Gia should've shut up. We're supposed to be a team.

     "I think we've blocked enough for the day. I want to work with Kamryn with her solo and I want you all to do your school. Dismissed," Ms. Abby says, waving goodbye to us as we walk out of the studio.