Just Crash, Fall Down (You Me At Six fanfic)

Chapter 4 - Running Away Never Helped Anything...

Seeing as my best friend Lola has just started reading this when I told her not to here's a little something for her;

LOLA LOVES OLIVER! LOLA LOVES OLIVER! ♡

Well now that's out of the way, on with the story!!

Charlotte pov

I had no idea where I was going, I just needed to get out of there. He saw. He. Saw. And me being the intellectual bitch I am ripped of my bracelet's and showed the others. What the fuck did I do that for?!

'Cause you're weak!' Oh god not her again. Belle. Belle is a figment of my imagination. She's basically my sub-conscience, telling me what I try hard to forget and all my insecurities. She's completly in my head and it really fucks me off! It's like having a stalker that calls you everything your to scared to admit, living inside of your head. I try to ignore it most of the time...but sometimes she gets to me. And more often than not, that's when the blade comes out.

'What the fuck do you want belle?' I thought to myself. Like I said not a real person, just inside my head.

'Hey, don't blame me! You're the one wandering around town crying her eye's out cause she's a pathetic little emo. I just came to remind you that you're a pathetic little emo, but seeing as I just said that I'll go and let you wallow in your grief as that blood pour down your arm.' Blood? What blood? I looked down at my arms noticing that my freshest cuts were open and bleeding profusely. Guessed I had scratched them open wthout realizing.

God I wish I could go home. But by this time Lucy will have told the guys where I live and they'll be ransacking my flat as we speak. Well, they won't find me there. As long as I've got my backpa-shit my backpack! My hands grabbed at my shoulders hoping to find the plastic straps of my trusty backpack. But to no avail. I must've left it at...Chris's.

The thought of him made my blood boil. He saw...

I don't even know why that made me angry. It's not like he told me to get out and pushed me out the door, it's not like he made fun of me, and it's not like he betrayed me or anything. So why am I so angry?

I need to stop running eventually. I can't keep running all my life. I have to settle somewhere. And without money and clothes that are conveniently situated in my backback, that was gonna be hard.

I thought about Chris again. I didn't want to hurt him by pushing up against the wall, it just kinda happened. I needed to know. I had to know if he'd seen or not. When I woke up at his place I felt alone, and I hte to say it but it made me feel better when he ran through the door. Made me feel like there was someone there looking out for me. But I pushed him away. I have a habit of doing that. Pushing people away before they can have a chance to hurt me. That's why I have hardly any friend's. The only friends I have are Lola and Oliver, but they've been a couple ever since secondary school and hardly ever stop tryin to suck eachothers faces off, so its hard to a ful conversation with them. I had Lucy of course, but I can't see her again otherwise she'll tell Chris that she's seen me. And I can't handle that. Not at the moment.

The YMAS boys have inadvertently helped me through so much. Their music is the only thing that will make me smile nowadays. And that's not even an exaggeration. The first few seconds of reckless is enough to make me beam like a three year-old that's been given candy. They just make me happy, don't ask me to explain it cause I can't. I fell in love with their music before I fell in love with the boys themselves. And by that I don't mean that I have mad crushes on them, I just mean that they are all amazing. When I first saw a poster of them I was instansly drawn to Chris. He just looked so mysterious with his long brown hair covering most of his face and he piercing blue eyes looking out. In the poster he was standing at the back poking his head just above Max's shoulder. I thought it was stange that he didn't want to be more involved but then someone told me that he was the shy one so I didn't think much more of it. So because of him being the shy one, I was drawn to him, again don't ask why cause I have no idea.