Pebbles and Tears

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I stepped outside and found Derrick waiting for me, watching the front door.

"What do you want, Derrick? Because te one night I get a peaceful nights rest, you decide to pull a Romeo or whatever and throw pebbles at my window!" I yell, but still manage to keep my voice down.

"I know, and I'm sorry but I had to..." He said. "I didn't want anyone else to explain to you what happened, but me." He said an tried to step forward, but I tightened my arms around myself as stepped back.

"Keep your distance." I snapped.

He raised his hands in surrender, ad nodded, "Totally, just hear me out, ok?" I nodded.

"So when I stormed off that night you pretended that nightmare was nothing and didn't accept my care, I was just upset you wanted to face all that scares you alone. That you didn't want my help. So the whole Charlotte thing was a pay-back thing." I said.

"So you used that girl just to get back at me?"
She asked.

"No, not necessarily." I cringed as I knew I was about to tell her. "Charlotte agreed to be my fake girlfriend for a month, her getting her own advantages with it, but never mind that..." I coughed awkwardly.

She was frozen.

"Then it never really seemed to bug you all that much, so I got even more upset and asked of she was up for a fake engagement, she agreed. Then I wanted to see your reaction to the news to see if you even cared for me the way I cared for you, and made sure you were there hen I announced our "engagement". I'd heard you crying every night, and trying so hard to escape those nightmares of yours, but I never realized until you were gone that it was because of me. That all those tears were caused by me." I said, nervous of her reaction.

Still, she was frozen.

I breathed a little to know she wasn't blowing up... yet...

"Then when you left, I realized what I'd done, and got upset with myself... As you can see, I have minor anger management problems... heh... heh.." I tried lightening the mood but she was still frozen.

"The I taunted you, hoping you'd stop and punch me long enough for Timothy and Josh to convince you to stay so I could explain, but you kept going. Then I didn't see you for five days and now here we are..." I offered a smile, but felt it fall as I took in her broken expression.

*******

(Eli)

I kept opening and closing my mouth, but no sound came out. All because I have trouble trusting people, e decided he was justified to hurt me the way he did... just because he got his feelings hurt a little...

I shook my head as a tear I'd been trying to keep at bay fell, and I turned to the front door. I was stopped by his voice pleading to me, "Say something! Don't just walk away like that! Yell! Scream! Do something!" He yelled, not caring if everyone knew we were out here together.

I just kept going, I walked in and closed the door, the walked to my room, where I also closed the door, hoping to find privacy. Looking at the window, I found the curtains open, so I walked over to close them.

Outside, it was February... cold, snowy, and just how I felt inside.

I saw Derrick appear behind the gate again and tried to get me to look at him, but I didn't. Holding in my tears, I grabbed the edges of the curtains, and drew them in, blocking Derricks view of me.

Making my way back to bed, I crawled in, and felt myself break. I broke down to tears as I realized it would always end like this.

That I would always end up crying myself to sleep. That my nightmares would never leave me.

That any hope I once had at a life with peace... Was ripped away...

******

I woke to someone knocking on my door three times, then a pause. They knocked again, then Rufus called in, "Eli? You still want to help with breakfast?" He asked.

I got up and walked to the door, opening it and looking at him through itchy and sore eyes. "No, I'd also like to ask that you guys eat without me." I gulped down last night's memory. "I'll... be in here f you need me for something..." I said, and moved to close the door, but Rufus held it open.

"Eli?" He asked, concern in his voice.

I shook my head and rested my forehead on the doorframe as I shook my head. "I'll be fine, I just need some time on my own." I said.

Rufus came closer, but paused, arms almost around me when he asked, "May I?"

I let out a sniffle and shook my head, making him retreat. He nodded once, and looked down at me with the same concerned-father look in his eye. "Well I'll e home all day if you want to vent or something." he said, and turned to leave, but stopped. "Would you like me to bring you breakfast?" He asked looked back at me. I shook my head and he nodded, walking down the hall in silence.

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