[BL] Transmigrating into the Reborn Male Lead's Ex-Boyfriend

Ch91 - Found a Good Friend

But, what could they do if Song Xuanhe refused to acknowledge it? Even Li Nianan and Song Xuanlin had separately pulled Song Xuanhe aside into one-on-one conversations to confirm. Li Nianan had asked him if he was worried that the family would be against their relationship. She had also asked if Song Guochao's words had made him reluctant to speak and be honest to the family about his boyfriend. She had comforted him, saying that if this was the case, he didn't need to worry. Song Guochao would never be against him and Xiao Yuanmu being together under such circumstances.

Song Xuanlin was different. Today, he asked Song Xuanhe whether he wasn't willing to let others know about his relationship with Xiao Yuanmu, because he felt self-inferior and was afraid of losing the other. Or, he was refusing to acknowledge their relationship, because he was worried that the company would exploit it. He said that if it were the former, Song Xuanhe had nothing to worry about. He then praised Song Xuanhe a few times. In the end, he told Song Xuanhe with an earnest expression that, although he was lacking in many areas, he was worthy of being with anyone he wanted to be with.

At this moment, Song Xuanhe just felt strange and completely baffled. However, he didn't perceive any malice. All he could do was thank the other man, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

Song Xuanlin looked obviously unused to being thanked by Song Xuanhe.

He was silent for a long time. After some time, he sighed softly and said, "I know that I'm not a good older brother."

Song Xuanhe turned his head, astonished. Song Xuanlin's face was slightly raised as he took in the moonlight above them. The silvery-white light illuminated his profile. For once, there was a trace of frustration and dejection, commonly seen on young people, on his usually inflexible and steady face.

"Actually, I had never really wanted a younger brother." Song Xuanlin turned to glance at him before looking back at the sky. He continued in a flat voice. "You were also far from my ideal younger brother at birth. As you grew up, I felt more and more estranged from you. Therefore, I started to keep a certain distance from you. That's why I'd never thought about what I should have been doing as an older brother. All I knew was that I should succeed the company. Meanwhile, all you had needed to do was live your life the way you wanted."

Song Xuanhe turned to look at him. Song Xuanlin's eyes seemed to be a bit out-of-focus as if he was looking at a road to the future, void of any and all signs.

"But, the person Grandpa wants to inherit the company isn't me. To tell the truth, I'd felt jealous of you. I'd even felt angry. Back then, I had wondered, how could I— someone who had given up on having fun with other kids my age for the sake of learning how to take over the company—lose to the affection Grandpa had developed towards you while raising you?"

"Song Xuanhe has never wanted to inherit the company." Song Xuanhe met Song Xuanlin's eyes full-on. His voice was cool. "All he had ever wanted was a big brother."

Song Xuanlin was immersed in his thoughts. He didn't notice Song Xuanhe's third-person appellation. When he had heard that last sentence, he was taken aback. He then quietly said, "I know. I only found this out recently."

"So what? Do you still want to ask me whether I want to take over the company or not?" Song Xuanhe thought about their conversation last time that had been interrupted by Li Nianan. He also thought of all those times in the past where Song Xuanlin had looked like he wanted to say something, only to end up uttering something meaningless.

Song Xuanlin was silent for a while. Song Xuanhe tilted his head, gaze clear and limpid. "Why do you keep asking me if I want the company? If I said that I wanted the company, would you give it to me?"

"That's not it." Song Xuanlin shook his head. "I just wanted to confirm that you really don't want it."

"And then?"

"And then..." And then, I'd get rid of my desire to free myself of this heavy burden that is the inheritance of our family's company. I'd give up on finding my life's passion and completely dedicate my everything to developing the company. I'd make sure that you would never have anything to fear, even when faced with Xiao Yuanmu, who had built up RE from scratch. I'd make up for all those years I had failed you as an older brother.

Song Xuanlin wanted to say all of this, but none of the words would leave his mouth. He and Song Xuanhe had opposite personalities. Song Xuanlin was guarded and had many misgivings. Regardless of whether it was his real emotions or not, he didn't really want to share them. He had hypnotized himself in an effort to get rid of any emotions that would affect his studying, work, or personal interactions. He had told himself that they weren't important. Who knew if it was because the hypnosis had been too effective or if it had just been too long—he really did think that they weren't important now.

All of a sudden, Song Xuanlin recalled a memory from a long time ago. Back then, Song Xuanhe had been seven or eight years old. He had always had a lovable appearance. Even when he had acted naughty, it had been hard to criticize him. At that time, aside from Song Guochao, who had rarely come home, no one could resist him—even the helper aunty couldn't help but give him some snacks when she saw his chubby cheeks.

In this particular memory, Song Xuanlin had been rushing to leave the house in order to get to his teacher's place for a make-up class. Because he had been afraid of getting stuck in traffic, he had been moving quickly. As soon as he had reached the door, he bumped into Song Xuanhe, who had been wearing a sailor-style shirt and a pair of overalls, as he rounded the corner. The incomplete model plane in the other's hand fell to the ground and shattered into pieces.

Song Xuanlin had frozen back then, feeling helpless. He had thought that Song Xuanhe would cry. After all, in his mind at the time, his younger brother was willful and unbridled.

However, Song Xuanhe had only blinked his black eyes and sat down on the ground cross-legged. One hand gathered the pieces on the other ground while his other hand wrapped around his leg. He looked up and said, "Ge, my plane's broken. It was so hard for me to build it. You broke it, so I want you to help me build it back together now."

Song Xuanlin didn't remember exactly what he had said. All he remembered was that he hadn't agreed. In the end, he had left in a hurry in order to make it to his teacher's class on time.

If this memory hadn't been stimulated by the outside world, it would have probably hidden itself in the depths of Song Xuanlin's mind, never to be unearthed again.

But recently, one morning, the servants had opened up Song Xuanhe's room to clean. Song Xuanlin had been passing by at that time and had inadvertently caught a glimpse of the shattered model plane in the glass display case. There were also many familiar and unfamiliar objects inside the case.

It wasn't until the servants had asked Song Xuanlin if anything was wrong that he had suddenly remembered that everything in that case were presents he had given to Song Xuanhe before.

Even he had forgotten about these things. And yet, his younger brother still treasured them, carefully collecting them. At that moment, Song Xuanlin hadn't known what the feeling in his chest had been.

It was also at that moment that he had subconsciously begun to observe Song Xuanhe more. He even wanted to interact with the other more. Unfortunately, Song Xuanhe had begun to avoid him. He was never able to see that expression he wanted to see on Song Xuanhe's face during their conversations again.

Song Xuanlin said: "From now on, I'll learn how to be a big brother."

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