It's been two months since Chibs was shot, he hasn't woken up, when we got married we promised that if anything happened then after sixty days we'd pull the plug. Sadly today happens to be the day, and if I'm being honest I'm not ready for it, I'm not ready to let him go. I sighed getting off the cot in Chibs hospital room going to the bathroom to change my clothes and get ready for the day. I put my hair in a loose messy bubbled fishtail braid, tying it off leaving the ends free except one small portion that I braided a little tighter. I pulled on a pair of floral leggings and a super baggy long sleeved off the shoulder thigh length sweater. I finished it by slipping into a pair of high heeled brown ankle tie up combat boots, I sighed as tears came to my eyes shaking my head.
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I went back to the room having the club come in while I signed the papers, I chose not to sign anything financially related. After all of that I signed the transfer papers, saying that after his death he is to return to Charming with us on the plane. As the doctor started to unplug the machines I felt my heartbreak realizing, I'm losing my husband, my kids are losing their father. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes, I could feel my breath hitch, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I could hold it in anymore, I sat there holding my husband's hand sobbing, I looked down before standing up keeping his hand in mine, I wanted to give him a small piece of mind.
"Chibs, I love you, you know I love you, but you can go, if you're ready it's okay, the kids and I will be okay, we're not alone."
However even after all of that he still held on for another eight hours to finally take his last breath, eight hours of me feeling like my heart was being ripped from my chest. Eight hours of crying, praying that this wasn't happening, when he was gone I stood up running out of the hospital. I went out to the parking garage standing next to my bike, I pulled out a cigarette lighting it up taking a huge drag. I stood there a moment before feeling my legs go weak, I crouched down just sitting there trying to get the tears to stop. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, as I sat there I heard someone coming, I looked up seeing Tig with a sad look on his face.
"I always thought I'd be the first to go, I thought I'd die when I got shot, or when I had Fin, I thought Jimmy or his runner up would've killed me before him. Now everything just feels so wrong, now I'm a widow, my kids are going to grow up without a dad..."
I let out a shaky breath as Kerri came to my mind causing realization to come to me.
"Oh my god, I haven't called Kerri yet, I mean I called her yesterday and told her what was happening but she doesn't know that he's gone."
I sat on the ground as my tears kept falling, Tig crouched down in front of me placing his hand on my shoulder.
"Juice called Kerri, she knows, you don't need to worry about her right now."
"Did she tell Vi?"
He shook his head.
"No, she thought that news would be best coming from you."
