don't stop reading just yet

Chapter Three ~ don't stop reading. not yet.

Oh. You are still here. Well this is awkward. I wasn't exactly expecting you to stay. I was almost sure I would've ran you off but apparently not.

Wow.

I haven't felt this sense of someone's presence in what it feels like an eternity. Really though, just me being a thoughtful person, I don't think you should continue. Not because you have done anything wrong but simply because I do not trust myself to handle it. The pressure of holding on to hope that I know you will soon bring to me, unintentionally of course.

This isn't your fault at all. I'm laying all of my own problems and burdens on you by making you feel as if you have to turn away from me. Like I am a fatal disease meant for nothing but to harm. But I simply do not want to hurt you in any way.

So I feel like I am making the right choice by telling you to leave. But a part of me knows that I want you to stay. That I want you to stay with me really bad. Only because I know deep inside I do not enjoy being alone. It's an exhausting feel that drags me down into a tiny hole that I cannot seem to get out of. And every time I sense a presence like yours, it's like there's a rope being thrown into that tiny hole of mine. A sense of hope. Relief. A way to find myself again. To regain all I thought I had.

So maybe it isn't bad if you stay. Of course I'm thinking irrationally right now, trying my absolute best to avoid the consequences I will have to endure if you decide to stay. But maybe it's not so bad if you don't stop reading. just not yet.