After the Storm

Chapter 6: Empty

It was one of the longest days of work Arizona had ever experienced. Each doctor and nurse she passed seemed to stare, because she was now labeled as a cheater. She was no longer Dr. Robbins or the bubbly roller skating pediatric surgeon; she was barely even Arizona Robbins. She was a cheater.

She had known the news would spread like wildfire, and she hardly blamed them for staring. Who wouldn't stare at the one-legged, lesbian surgeon who cheated on her wife?

The only thing keeping Arizona focused now was the life that was growing inside her. It was perhaps the only thing tying her to Callie and Sofia anymore. Though she was only four weeks along, Arizona remembered that she had planned to tell Callie about the pregnancy after the storm had calmed down.

THIS POINT IS WHERE I STOPPED REVISING WHICH IS WHY THERE'S A TENSE CHANGE. I PROBABLY WON'T GET AROUND TO FINISHING THE REVISIONS FOR A WHILE SO MY APOLOGIES.

My hand fell down to my stomach. I rubbed slow circles over my abdomen which was just beginning to show. Our baby. Our precious son or daughter. I hoped for a boy this time. I wanted him so I could name him Timothy. After my brother.

Tears came to my eyes. This was such a good thing. Everything could have been perfect. Callie and I could buy a house, Sofia would now have three playmates instead of just one. Bailey, Zola, and our son or daughter.

I felt the tears start. I wanted this. I wanted this so much. So freaking much, but I managed to ruin everything.

I heard the door swing open behind me. Standing up quickly, I wiped the tears from my eyes, and rushed over to a shelf.

"Arizona?" I heard Kepner's voice behind me.

I sniffed. "'Hey," I said, pretending to look for something.

"Are- are you okay?" She asked, her voice small.

I nodded, feeling myself grow weaker, and weaker.

"I'm fine," I said quietly.

"I'm fine," I repeated, choking on the tears.

She walked up and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I- I heard what happened," she said. I laughed.

"Of course you did. Everyone knows, and everyone stares, and hates, and judges and-" she cut me off.

"I don't hate you, I don't stare, and I don't judge you. Nobody does. Nobody is staring," she said.

I laughed again.

"April, I grew up gay. I was the kid who grew up liking girls. Kids stared, and judged, and laughed. I lost a leg. People stare. Every time I'm working on a Peds case, kids ask me if I'm a robot, they stare. And now, I'm a cheater. I cheated on my wife, and everybody knows it," I said.

She just stared at me.

"You cheated, yes. You made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. Little ones, and the big ones. No matter how you spin it, this was just a mistake. A big, big mistake, but a mistake. Anyone could have done this," she attempted to console me.

I sighed.

"But Callie- she hates me, she will never trust me again. And the baby..." I trailed off.

I squeezed my eyes shut, as I was beginning to cry again.

"Sofia will be alright," she said, sitting next to me.

"Not Sofia... I'm pregnant, April," I said.

Silence overtook us. She looked genuinely shocked.

"O-oh... oh my god," she stuttered.

"And Callie wants nothing to do with me. And now everything is over, and I'm alone. I've reached the end of the line," I said.

For a moment, we were silent again. She then shot up, and stood in front of me, hands on her hips. "You want Callie. You want Sofia, and you want this baby, and you want to be happy, right?" She asked.

I nodded, confused as to what was happening.

"Then you get them. You get Callie back. Arizona, don't give up. I know that Callie is mad, and upset, and you did hurt her very bad, but you still need to try. Fight for this. Fight for her, fight for your kids, and do not give up. No matter how bad you screwed up, you can always come back from it. Sofia needs her mother, so does this baby, and even though Callie is very upset and angry with you, she needs you too. So fight for them, don't give a damn what anyone else says, does, or thinks. You focus on them, and you fight like hell to get them back," she finished. I

was sort of mesmerized by her speech.

For April, it was very hardcore. But she was right. Oh how right she was. I wanted and needed Callie and our children. And here I was just giving up. But I will not. They are too important to me. Too much to lose.

"April... I don't know how to thank you. But you inspired me. You are so right. I can't lose them, I can't give up. I won't," I said.

She smiled brightly.

"That's the spirit," she said.

"Now go get her back," she said.

I smiled, and gave her a quick hug.

Running out of the supply closet, I ran down the hall, and straight to my car.

I was going to go to the apartment, march in there, and get my wife and daughter back. I drove fast. Nearly speeding.

I ran up the stairs, dug my key into the lock, and shot into the apartment. But when I got in there, things looked different.

The pictures that were on the walls were gone.

The quilt Callie's grandmother gave her that we had on the couch was gone.

"Callie," I called.

No response.

My heart picked up as I ran into Sofia's room.

My heart sank. Everything was gone. Not a single thing remained. "Sofia!" I yelled. My baby was gone. "No, no, no," I whispered.

Eventually I was in our room.

Empty.

Callie's things were gone, they were gone.

"Callie!" I screamed. "Sofia!" I collapsed on the floor, shaking.

They were gone.

My world came crashing down around me, in a matter of minutes.