After Fire - Dreamnotfound

Eleven|top-secret george knowledge

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not." He reached out for the wheel only to recoil back again. He covered his face as he hiccuped. "Fuck, why did you have to ask?" His voice bled as he began to cry. His entire body shivered like the waves of his voice. George's heart sank lower than it had ever gone. His friends never cried in front of him. Typically, they'd complain to George and then leave before they became too emotional. Watching it before him plagued him with a sickly feeling that he wasn't doing enough.

"What happened?" He asked when Clay quieted down.

"My mom's right. All I do is fuck up. I'm not right, George. I'm never right, but I tried. I tried so fucking hard. But trying isn't good enough." The words tumbled out the same way it did when he went on his history lessons for George. "I don't want to be a bad person, but I feel like I am."

"What are you talking about?"

"My mom found out I broke up with Sapnap," Clay mumbled. "It was a mistake, George. I thought I'd feel better, but I feel even worse. All I did was cause unnecessary problems, and I fucking kidnapped you. I dragged you into this when you were just fine without me. If I just stayed with Sapnap, none of this would have happened."

"But you don't love him that way."

"I don't even understand why." Clay cried into the sleeves of his sweater. "I went out with him and-and kissed him. He never mistreated me. I tried so hard to fall in love with him, but I can't. And now everyone hates me. Karl and Quackity left me, and Sapnap refused to answer my calls and texts and never even tried to reach me. Even Bad and Skeppy looked at me differently after I told them what happened."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because soulmates are supposed to fall in love, but I didn't. And now I broke Sapnap's heart and lost everyone. Even my own parents are mad at me. My mom told me there's no reason to break up with my soulmate."

"Did you tell her why?"

Clay's bleary eyes widened as he quickly shook his head. "Fuck no. That's basically pouring gasoline on myself when I'm already on fire." He shook his head. "I should have just stuck it out. This was a stupid idea. Everything I do is a stupid idea."

"You did the right thing, Clay. Sticking it out doesn't work." He scooted closer to the younger boy. "My parents stuck it out. They're married, but they're not in love."

"They loved eachother enough to have a kid."

"Well, not exactly," George said, earning himself a curious look from Clay. Tears raced down his face, and George instinctively wiped them away for him. Even through his pain and tears, George could still spot the inquisitive spark behind his gaze. "My parents met in high school. My mom didn't love my dad, but my dad loved her. They're like you and Sapnap. My mom only dated him because she felt she had to. But she did end up falling in love, but it was with some other guy. My dad didn't find out until I came along."

"What the hell?"

"Yeah," George mumbled as his heart pounded against his chest. "They got married a little before I was born. They told everyone that I was my their's. They only married because they're soulmates, but sometimes I wish they just broke up. I'm pretty sure both my parents have said they hated me on two separate occasions."

"Why would your own parents tell you that?"

George shrugged. "They didn't say it to my face, but I do come up quite a lot in their arguments. Sometimes I think that if I was never born, their relationship would be better."

"I'm glad you were born, George."

George laughed gently. "No one has ever told me that before."