"Ok, Mom!" I yell back, grabbing a peach Ensure.
Man, Mom is getting experimental with the flavors. Despite everything, I allow a drip onto my tongue. Disgusting. It'll give me motivation to not drink it. I'll just deduct 10 calories to be safe for the drip that I allow on my tongue.
I hear a door open and close behind. GiaNina. I slow down so she can catch up. Her light footsteps grow louder and eventually, she catches up as we sit for the elevator. My mind goes back to the depression medication. I have depression?
"Lilly, what's wrong?" GiaNina asks me, pulling me to her while we're still waiting for the elevator.
"Mom is putting me on depression medicine. I didn't even know I was depressed. It's just... a lot for me to take in. My brain is kinda jumbled," I reveal and GiaNina's face drops.
"Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything," GiaNina promises after pausing for a moment and I give her a big hug.
"Thank you," I whisper as the elevator door suddenly opens and we go inside the big box.
I "chug" the peach Ensure. We go to Ms. Ashley's car, surprisingly running early and we begin the trek to the studio.
***elliana***
Bored out of my mind, I begin to do some geography work as I receive a text from GiaNina.
GiGi: you gotta keep this a secret or else Lilly will not trust me ever again.
elli: wut
GiGi: Lilly's been put on a depression medicine
Sarah: see I told you she doesn't have an eating disorder
press: u were pretty sure yesterday
elli: people with eating disorders are often depressed. Their mind isn't right. If anything, it's more reaffirming my thought that she has an eating disorder. And I still think it's not bulimia.
Hannah banana: she ate an entire toss and mix salad yesterday elli
elli: the toss and mix salad has 58 calories just looked it up. It's a safe choice
press: aight I'm getting worried
elli: monitor her when I'm gone, okay?
GiGi: k
Sarah: sorry but I need some more convincing
Hannah banana: kk
elli: bye
I groan. This is getting way more complicated than trying to see if Lilly what I've narrowed down to anorexia. Now she has depression. What if it really is just depression, and I've been overreacting this whole time? I'm gonna have a hard time focusing on school today.
***lilly***
While in the car, I suddenly feel really sad and unmotivated to do anything. Like life doesn't matter. I don't talk to anybody and just hang out in the corner. Is this what depression is like? Then I've been feeling this for a while. Just masking it and thriving in the happy days. Mainly, I've been masking this feeling, trying my best to create memories, because my brain is erasing some of the happy memories. I barely remember my first ALDC solo.
I'm still feeling sad and unproductive, but I'm gonna try to mask being happy and crack jokes and everything. I have a bad feeling when I enter the studio. Like I'm about to get the worst news of my life. I slip off my hoodie reluctantly and go into Studio A.
ESTÁ A LER
Une Fleure Fanée
Fanfic***MATURE WARNING*** "The hunger is good. You had too many calories already. You're already fat." "They'll love you even more when you're skinny. You'll be their perfect little angel when you're nice and pretty." "Lilly, I heard you puking up the c...
Week 7 Part 5 (Thursday)
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