24 Dates || SOOSHU

Date Twenty-two

Place: Soojin and Shuhua's apartment

Time: February 14th, 2017 6:00 pm

Yelp: N/A | Date: yikes

On one hand, Shuhua knows it's completely stupid to not tell Soojin. On the other hand, she wonders if it's fair to tell Soojin. She doesn't know if it would be selfish or not, if it would hurt or help. This nagging voice in the back of Shuhua's head tells her that Soojin's dad is right.

Soojin is used to planning ahead, and can Shuhua promise that Soojin won't ever regret saying yes to a proposal (if she says yes in the first place).

All Shuhua knows is that she would always be happy.

But she's an idol, and Soojin is a striving doctor who's going to do so many big things. Who's to say Shuhua won't bring her down. Shuhua's already at her peak, anyways; but Soojin isn't. She's still got so much left. And Shuhua realizes that she doesn't want to ever drag Soojin down and - it's just so complicated.

Being in love is complicated.

She's trying to pretend like it didn't happen, trying to get it out of her head so things can be normal. But even work can't make her stop thinking about Soojin.

Being in love is annoying.

It's Valentine's Day now, and Shuhua is trying. She's set up a dinner for them, cooked and everything. There are even candles. It's hard to speak freely now, though - without some kind of persona taking over.

"I'm not going to take over Father's position," Soojin says before taking a small bite out of her soup.

Shuhua swallows. "What? Why?" She remembers Soojin being busy for a few months while partially covering - but Soojin never seemed particularly upset with it.

"The job isn't bad - it's a lot, but not bad. I want to keep my practice, though."

Shuhua thinks back to when she told Soojin to think about it and wonders if she's already fucking up things for Soojin. She sets her jaw before sighing. "Are you sure? When I brought it up you seemed like you were really interested in your father's position."

Soojin drops her spoon and looks up. Her face is red, but not in a cutesy blush way. "Okay. What the hell has been going on with you?"

"What? Nothing." She keeps lying and isn't exactly surprised that Soojin's mad but can she really say why?

"You tell me to think about what I want to do and now that I know, you question me. You've been standoffish ever since you met my parents. You--" she throws her hands up. "You're not telling me something and -" she lets out a frustrated groan. "What's with that?"

Shuhua chews on her lip. "I can't say."

"Well if you can't say one little thing after all these months of being together then maybe we shouldn't--" she stops herself.

"Shouldn't what?" Shuhua's heart pounds two times, a loud thud against her chest. It feels more like a punch than anything.

Soojin places her hand in her hair, idly twirls as she looks down. "Nothing. Just forget it - I'm tired."

Shuhua walks up to her, stares at Soojin until she looks back. "Shouldn't what?"

There it is . That single doubt, that crack in what could be the future. Enough to make Shuhua now fully understand what Soojin's father meant. The unpredictable nature that comes with their push and pull.

Soojin sighs and slowly closes her eyes. "I told you, I'm just tired."

Shuhua grabs her face and kisses her softly. "I think--" she says, and stops. The rims of Soojin's eyes are red, and Shuhua forces herself to not look away. "I'm going to stay with Minnie and Miyeon for a little bit." She swallows in and smiles, gives a dry laugh.

"I've been busy lately. Fuzzy."

Soojin pulls away. "Don't do that. It's stupid. If you're going to say something then just say it."

"We just need a small break," Shuhua says. She's not going to cry because she doesn't have the right to be in front of Soojin.

"I don't. You do. Don't blame this on me." Soojin is trying not to cry, but her eyes are watery and there are small streaks of wet skin on her cheeks that glisten by the candles.

She's very very wrong, but Shuhua nods. She kisses Soojin on the cheek. "I do." Shuhua lets out a strangled breath. "I'll call, and be back. Just need to sort some things out."

She packs quickly, only a few important items. Then nearly cracks when she hears a low, "Don't bother," as she exits the apartment.