Une Fleure Fanée

Week 7 Part 4 (Wednesday)

     She pulls her hand away and keeps quiet. I want to tell her sorry, but I don't want Mom to get suspicious. Her touch reminds me too much of Nurse Charlotte's touch today. Maybe tomorrow will be different. I curl up a bit, tucking my knees into my chest.

     I finally get the courage to mouth to her, "Sorry."

     Hannah smiles back and shrugs, looking out the window. I look out my window, leaning against the door a bit. I unfurl my legs, and I notice my thigh gap is a little bigger. I smile. Your thighs are still too big, Lilliana. You look awful and ugly. You shouldn't exist. Nobody cares about you because you're fat.

     I frown and slump my shoulders. The familiar white brick building shows up on the horizon of my view and I grab my dance bag from the floor of the car. Hannah does the same. We park, and I get out of the car. We're immediately issued to Studio A and Elliana isn't there yet. Maybe she's running late today. It'll definitely play into the story that they're running late from the airport.

     "Hello, hello, hello. Alright, guys. Why don't you do some burpees so that it looks like you're warming up and then we'll get started on the group routine?" Ms. Abby suggests.

     We all do ten burpees, accidentally doing them in unison. I eventually speed up, finishing them first. The others aren't far behind though. We join Ms. Abby near the mats to discuss hazing. The producers bring out a white table as she begins to tell us about the group routine. Ms. Abby is holding a cutting board for some reason.

     "Alright, we are sending a message out to the world that hazing is wrong and hazing is bad. But we are showing kids what hazing is. So, Lilly, she is the one being hazed. She is the young pledge coming into your sorority, and you are hazing her. And things get out control and she dies," Ms. Abby informs us,

     The producers move the table so we can rest our arms on it. They also make the red solo cups look like a game of beer pong. We played some version of that in the psych ward. Except there was nothing in the cups. You deserve to be hazed and you deserve to die, Lilliana.

     "All right. Let me just go over some steps with you guys. Spread out. Step on your right and paddle your left around. And stick your arms out kinda like airplanes, and tilt them so that it kinda creates a diagonal. And tilt your body that way when you turn too. Go. And one, and two, and three, and four. and five, and six, and seven, and eight. Good. Now let's work on some other moves," Ms. Abby instructs.

     We get the base of the dance. We're all so happy and excited, and so is the music. But then the music distorts a bit because I've been hurt. Then when I die, the music becomes normal again as everybody runs off stage. There's even a lift and they're struggling to carry me. It's because you're so fat, Lilliana. You need to lose even more weight. Ms. Abby has transitioned to holding a bat.

     As we're dancing, Ms. Abby starts to yell, "I'm gonna do some hazing of my own. You better point that foot. Your left foot on that kick is a mess. The one you're standing on! Shoulders! You're supposed to be on your elbows, Hannah!"

     Suddenly, Ms. Yolanda walks in. Without Elliana. What is she doing here? Ms. Abby and Ms. Yolanda hug. It's time for Mom to act like she's being tortured. I can see her expressions in the viewing box. She's doing a good job so far.

     "Where is Elliana?" Ms. Abby asks.

     "She... can't dance. She's fine, but she doesn't have enough educational hours," Ms. Yolanda reveals.

     So Ms. Abby brings Elliana to the team so she can help us out and help us win, and now she can't even dance because her mom took her to Rome for hands-on experience that didn't count? Why didn't Elliana tell me? Well, I guess we both have our secrets.