Iskall: Hope the shower isn't too toasty for you
Ren: If the shower is full of toast I'm going to punch your dick
Cleo: Little bitch-
Xisuma: L A N G U A G E
(Mumbo and Grian start making out)
Iskall: Hah, gay
Ren: Iskall-
Ex: I want to cut off my boyfriend's dick
BadTimes: (nervous sweating)
(twelve am in the morning)
Etho, probably drunk: everyone is currently in the good old days, you just dont realize it
Beef, also probably drunk: Damn Etho, fucking wisdom
Xisuma: Whatcha doin' Ex?
Ex: PLAYING COOKING MAMA
Grian: I'll piss in your piss baby juice, you piss baby
Iskall: Your a piss baby
Xisuma: I wanna start datin'
Doc: REALLY? :-D
Xisuma: Yea, I was thinking you could be my wingman
Doc: :-(
(Ren and Doc talking about boat sizes)
Doc: Yea so one of my newer boats is actually 24 inches
Iskall, whispering to Mumbo: thats how big my dick is
Cleo: (walks in with Joe's shirt, Etho's shoes, Mumbo's pants, and Xisuma's helmet on)
Grian: Fun night?
Cleo: No, I just stole these
Grian: Iskall is my mom
Iskall, cooking eggs for Grian: No I'm not
Literally any girl hermit: Hakuna-my-tatas
Iskall: Oh look I still have cheetos, (eats it) they taste like throw up, that means they're ripe
Ren: Thats definitely not what that mean
Etho: I am made out of tomatoes, oranges, and the fruits of Satan
Stress: Wait whoops, fire, I'm fine, don't worry about me
Ren: I blew so many holes in that thing it looks like a damn cheese slice
Ex: This Push-pop bangin' tho
Xisuma: That's a fucking glue stick
Ren: (draws a butt in gartic phone)
Iskall: According to me, Ren, that's you. I'd recognize those cheeks from anywhere
Ex: (dragging a large bag across the room)
Xisuma: Uhh, whatcha got there, buddy?
Ex: Lighter Fluid
Grian: Daddy, can you pass the salt?
Iskall, Ren, Mumbo, Xisuma, Doc, and Scar: (reach across the table)
Wels: (eats diamond shovel)
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAA
Ex: AUUGHH I just sneezed and it went to my 12-inch dick
Iskall: Suck my dick
Ren: Okay, I think I will
Xisuma: You gay?
Ex: Noo
Iskall: COOME HERE
Ren: IM COMING IN A SECOND, BITCH
X-113: (cooking eggs)
Xisuma: (whispering to Ex) X-113 can't cook
Etho: BEHOLD, the field in which I lay my fucks, as you can see, it is barren
Xisuma talking to baby Ex: You are 8 pounds, I weigh triple than you, I am four times faster than you. You have nothing that says you can cut my penis off!
Iskall: i always get the head
Ren: (snorts)
Xisuma: I AM FUELED OF LUCKY CHARMS AND TYLENOL
YOU ARE READING
~•=*+Hermitcraft Oneshots+*=•~
Fanfictionhonestly, i wanted to make a book for oneshots of hermitcraft (contains multishipping and poly ships). I will be inserting my own oc, (you get to find that out later) ALSO in this universe Evil Xisuma and Xisuma are brothers (i will NOT be shipping...
