Stephanie's Trial

As if nothing had happened

The next day, James acted as if nothing had happened the night before. Which suited me down to the ground. I didn't want another repeat of last night's harrowing events, and I certainly had no plans on letting him get that close to me again.

Although, as I followed him across the fields to begin our day's training, memories from the night before kept popping up, and I had to suppress the urge to dwell on them. I'd gotten a much more thorough education than I'd desired, and though I reminded myself that I utterly despised him, it was difficult, remembering the hard planes of his body pressed against mine, his arms locked around me like iron bands, stopping me from escaping ...

I shivered and cut those thoughts off. I had only to brush  his mind with mine to feel his usual disdain thrumming in my general direction, and that settled my nerves, quelling those memories effortlessly and putting them in the back of my mind where they belonged. 

"We're going to focus on your flipping technique," James announced once we were in the forest. "It was woeful, and I need you to get better at it. I should not be able to escape you so easily and overpower you like I did a few days ago."

I scowled. "Fine," I said, "but you're going to be eating those words."

James gave me a flat stare. "Don't push your luck," he warned. "I already had to put you in your place once last night. Don't make me do it again; I won't be so gentle next time."

"Gentle?" I snapped. "Are you kidding me? You held me underwater until I had no choice but to kiss you! You call that gentle? I nearly bloody drowned!"

"As I said, you were the one who almost drowned yourself," James said, eyes glittering. "You had only to comply the moment I kissed you, and I would have let you go. You chose to stay and fight."

I gave him a glare of my own. "Considering you forced that kiss on me in the first place, I don't see the moral high ground here. And I didn't even want to kiss you! You're a jerk, and I swear to God I will make you and your stupid Alpha pay for all the pain you've caused me and my family!"

Dead silence reigned, and for a moment, I feared I'd gone too far. But James shrugged. 

"Very well," he said coldly. "Since you've once more made your feelings for me so clear, then I have no choice but to repay you in kind. Not that it takes a genius to work out how much you hate me, but it's nice to have confirmation. Now, as I said, you're going to work on your flipping technique. If you can manage to hold me down for more than five seconds, I'll consider that a pass."

I shivered at the glacial tone in which he said those words, and I felt even colder when I dared to touch his mind again. The disdain was still there, but now there was a frigid layer added to it. I didn't dare examine it too closely, but it almost felt like hurt. I brushed that thought aside as I withdrew the contact. James had no reason to like me. So why on earth would he feel hurt at my outburst?

I decided my best bet was to not worry about it. Instead, I focused on the lesson for today, determined to never let my guard down again. I knew last night wouldn't happen again, and while I was immensely relieved at the prospect, I felt an almost crushing sense of loss, as if I'd just given up something beautiful. 

Which was a stupid thought. I hated James, and the feeling was mutual. 

So why on earth did I feel like crying?