SUGAR || Lori Harvey x Method Man

-Chapter Ten-

"Don't bullshit me. Yes or no?"

"Technically, no." He crossed his arms and leaned on the wall.

"So you're what, a distributor? a kingpin?" I asked stepping in his face.

"Among other things." He nodded. "Cheyenne, there's a lot of things you don't know and you don't need to know. A lot of things I am protecting you from."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You're trying to protect me, by keeping me in the dark?"

The look on his face changed, and I could tell he was getting upset.

"Yes, actually. That's exactly what I am doing. The less you know the better for you, and if shit goes wrong, the better for me." He said sitting at his desk.

"You just don't know who and what I'm involved in. I grew up in the streets, running crack, weed, pills, whatever for other niggas. I had no other choices, or at least I thought I didn't. So I climbed up the ladder and got my own. Now I'm running shit. Not necessarily something to be proud of, but I am proud that I created a life for myself. Now drugs don't define me, they're a part of me and my businesses. How you think I bought the barber shop, or the cafe, or this club?" He looked at me like he was waiting for an answer, but I didn't say anything.

"Exactly, drug money. The trips? Drug money. The house? Drug money. The cars? Drug money. Your gifts?" He took a breath as I stared at him. "But I'm trying to change shit, and go legit. And that is why I didn't tell you anything, because pretty soon, there will be nothing to tell. Any more questions?" He asked, waiting for me to answer.

I didn't know what to say. I just continued to look at him.

"That's what you wanted right? Some answers? There are your fuckin answers!" He said speaking louder with each word until he was damn near yelling.

I should be happy that he finally told me what was up but it just left me with more questions.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Is all I could say before I felt tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Cheyenne, come here." He stood up and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated, not with you, just with life. I got dealt a bad hand in this life shit and I did what I had to do to make something of myself, but it still feels like that is never good enough. Everybody still sees me as the boy who was running the streets. Some people who knew me back then still see me as that bad person, and in a way they are right."

"They're not right, Clifford." I said immediately. I could see the conflict in his face and I didn't like hearing him talk down on himself. "You're a good person. I see your heart, and it is pure."

"Chey, some of the shit that I've had to do in order to keep myself in this position, is shit I can't even say out loud. Shit I don't even like to think about. That's how bad it is. I'm not a good person, but I'm trying. And I've been trying to keep you away from this shit. I can't, and won't lose you."

"Lose me, what do you mean lose me? I'm not going anywhere..." I rubbed the side of his face.

He kissed my forehead and opened the door. "Once I'm done with all of this shit, I will tell you everything. But right now, I just can't."

I nodded my head accepting that answer. We left his office and he went back to the back to finish with the shipment, which now I was wary of what it contained. I went and found Tati, who was at the bar checking off stuff on a clipboard as she went through inventory.

"Did you know Clifford was a drug dealer?" I asked, causing her to choke on her spit.

"Chey what the hell?" She whispered as she stopped coughing.