𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕼𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓'𝖘 𝕷𝖎𝖔𝖓

Jack The Ripper

"Oh, before you close me in here," Y/N said before he could shut the coffin, "What details should I know about the Ripper case now that I'm working on it?" Of course Y/N already knew everything she needed to know about the Ripper case, including 'who done it', but she couldn't arrive at that conclusion so easily without definitely becoming suspicious.

"Well, usually I charge but since this is your first case and I've enjoyed your company, I'll give you this tidbit of information for free," the Undertaker traced one of his long, black nails against the rim of the coffin, "All my Ripper clients have been lacking, you see. None of them have come into my care complete."

"They were missing an organ?" Y/N wasn't half bad at acting like she was almost clueless.

"Yessss, tell me, how did you figure it was an organ?"

"Well if she was missing a foot or a finger or something they would've mentioned it in the paper," Y/N was also good at bullshitting, "The reporters would've run wild with a missing limb story but they didn't, because they didn't know she was missing something. You can't account for someone's organs just by looking at them from the outside, you've got to look at their insides." The Undertaker chuckled again very darkly, impressed with how quickly she caught on.

"Milady is right about that, and do you have a guess for which organ he took as a prize?"

Y/N pretended to think for a moment before answering: "Their uterus?"

"Veeery good, and how'd you figure that?"

"Because whoever did this obviously has a thing against women, more specifically prostitutes. Whoever is killing them probably thinks that they either don't deserve to have the ability to have children, or they are abusing their ability to bare children by having sex but not to conceive a baby." Not a half-bad bullshit explanation, especially considering the fact that it was partially true.

"You're quite good at this, milady. You'll have this case solved in no time then," the Undertaker tapped his nails on the coffin's wooden lid.

"I hope so. Say, I feel a little bad for staying here, getting all this help from you and everything, and I've only told you one joke," Y/N had been silently praying for an opportunity like this for ages, "So why don't I offer you a chance to make you laugh harder than you ever have before?"

"Oh?" He was intrigued to say the least, his cheshire cat smile somehow growing.

"Let me stay until you get a customer who needs information. Let them come inside, tell you a joke and have them stand by or sit on this coffin. After they get close I'll throw open the lid and scream, pretending to be the living dead or something!" It was childish, true, but Y/N knew who would be walking through that door tomorrow, and she wasn't going to pass up on making the Earl, his butler, and his associates jump out of their skins. The Undertaker cackled at the thought.

"Why, that sounds like a lovely idea," He managed between breaths, "But what makes you sure someone will come for information tomorrow?"

"Well, I'm supposed to be working with the Queen's Guard Dog who's supposedly been informed of our new partnership. I haven't heard any word from them and time until the Ripper's next kill is running out. I feel like I would've heard or seen something if another one of the Queen's employees had made their way to your parlor."

"You really don't let anything slip past you, do you?" Y/N nodded before she yawned. The Undertaker fixed her hair, probably a force of habit, and told her goodnight before finally closing the lid of the coffin. Soon after she was engulfed in darkness did Y/N hear another coffin creak open and close and assumed that the Undertaker was also retiring for the night. Reapers did need sleep after all. Not long after his coffin closed did Y/N slip into unconscious sleep.