Penult (The Liminality, Part Four)

Chapter 57: The Scouts Return

Desperately and without words, Karla and I made love in my nest of twigs and leaves. Engulfed in scents—turpentine, salt spray, the musk of unwashed skin—I lost all sense of self. We may as well have been wafting through the Singularity, our souls all smudged together, blending like smoke.

Afterwards we lay side by side, my hoodie draped over our bare and dewy skin. A cool breeze lapped at my bare side. Karla nuzzled my neck with her nose and made me shiver.

This was everything I had wished for and more, yet a weird residue of disappointment and relief lingered. I never should have given in so easily. How would she ever take me seriously going forward?

But what was done was done. I stared up at the strangely faded stars that wandered the skies of this world. I wondered if they were mere decoration—some sham created for the viewing pleasure of spirits of some higher station. But what if those were real worlds revolving up there, other after-realms for humans or whatever alternative intelligences might exist in this universe? Maybe one of those points of light was Heaven itself. Coming to the Liminality had revealed a few mysteries, only to hint at the existence of a thousand more.

I had no idea what to do about me and Karla, how we moved on from this reconciliation, if that’s what it was. What had just happened between us had come natural, but it didn’t mean we were back together.

Things were different now between us. Her leaving had left a taint on our relationship. Our connection would never be as simple and pure as our first days together in Root. It was harder for me now to imagine a future that involved the both of us.

“There. You happy now?” she asked, as if she were reading my mind. I wasn’t ready to admit to her what I was really thinking.

“Sure.” The word slipped from my lips like a sigh. It was a white lie.

“Don’t you fade on me now. We have things left to do. I hope we are not doing this too soon.”

“What about you? Are you happy?”

She paused.

“It takes more than a romp in the sand to improve my mood.”

“Romp? Is that all this was to you?”

“Shush! I am just saying. I am joking. You should know better. Happy is not my thing.”

A blast of wind shook the trees and swirled the bushes. Sand devils danced. Karla snuggled closer. I let my arm slip over her, but it still felt strange holding her, as if she wasn’t really here, but just some figment of a daydream.

“Do you have any idea what we’re getting into, going to Penult?”

“No,” she said. “But I am not worried. Not if we have you with us.”

I sighed. “People expect too much of me sometimes.”

“All I expect is for you to try. Amazing things happen when you do. I have seen them. In every realm.”

“Sometimes … I fail.”

“We all fail. You are only human. You do what you can. That’s all you can do. All we can expect.”

“What if I do nothing? What if I don’t go to Penult. Would you stop having anything to do with me?”

“Don’t play games with me,” said Karla. “I know you are committed. You have eyes. You have seen what Penult is doing. I have faith you will do the right thing.”

“And if I do, you will come back … for good? Stay with me on the other side? No matter what?”

“Maybe. That is possible. Is that what you wish?”