'Di Madama

• Last Chapter (Part Two) •

"Starting today, this will be our location," sabi ko sa kanya. May kumalat kasi na mga pictures na kasama niya ako. Ayoko lang na ma-link siya sa akin tapos sasama na rin tingin ng mga tao sa kanya, and at the same time, I don't want RR to see him.

He smiled at me. "Great location, huh."

I smiled back. "It's the best."

That continued. That kind of set-up with Rean continued. We're just friends, really... with no benefits. Nung una nga akala ko 'yun lang ang habol niya sa akin: sex, pero hindi. Ipinaparamdam niya talaga sa akin na kaibigan ko siya at malinis ang intention niya sa akin.

He's really one of a kind.

"I want to flirt with you," he said one time we were together. He brought me to a cliff outside of the town where you can see the city lights and view of different cities.

Natigilan ako. "I told you I'm a fuck girl..."

Tiningnan niya lang ako.

"I have a scandal, Rean."

"So?" he asked. "That's your past, and that won't ever change the fact that I still very much want to flirt with you."

Hindi ko alam pero parang pinipiga bigla ang puso ko.

Tumayo siya. Nanatili akong naka-upo sa likuran ng sasakyan niya. He offered me his hand. Tinanggap ko.

"You are more than the name they call you," he said. "You know what's the only thing I hate about you?" he asked.

Umiling ako.

"Your mindset... and the way you think about yourself. With scandal or no scandal, so what? It doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved. It doesn't mean you aren't worthy of respect."

"Fuck girl or not, you're still a woman. You're still human. Remember what I told you before? Virginity is a social construct, Anya. It's all an imaginary concept. It really doesn't mean anything... well for me."

"I hate it that when a woman loses their virginity, people would think that it's a shame, it's a disgrace. I mean if you're already in legal age it's fine or maybe as long as you're educated with sex, I don't see any problem with it."

"But when a man loses his virginity, it's a proud moment. It's something to brag about. Well you know what? Fuck standards. Fuck the society. In the end, the only standard that matters and that you should meet are yours."

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. "And you know the one thing I like most about you?"

Ngumiti siya bago umiling. "No."

"Your mindset."

Mas lalo siyang napangiti sa sinabi ko. "Now flirt with me."

I nodded before enveloping him into a hug.

* * *

I told him I don't want commitments; I can't have a commitment, because I know that if he finds out that I'm having something real with somebody, I'm scared he would hurt me again and worse, he would hurt Rean too.

Ever since I met Rean, I stopped coming back to my apartment so I wouldn't see him. And so far, I've been successful. I also rarely see him at school, maybe because he's graduating. He's busy with his studies and requirements. His studies and his career are the most important things for him.

I smiled while looking at him with piercings.

I frowned when he finally came near me. Kakarating niya lang mula sa school dito sa usual location naming dalawa. "Nasaan na ang eyebrow slits? Ang hina ko naman sa'yo."