Without The Words

Chapter 25

"Hey. Wake up. We're here."

Shit. I hadn't even realized I fell asleep. I widened my eyes in horror, mainly because I totally forgot Mr. Lee was sitting right next to me, and he was staring at me so intently that I felt like throwing up.

Half asleep and half awake, I slipped the pen out of my sweatshirt pocket.

I need tu use th restroom, I wrote on the side of my arm after pulling up my sleeve, my sleepy vision blurring my view. I was humiliatingly unaware of my horrible grammar, though I was too tired to notice it.

Mr. Lee chuckled when his eyes leafed through my sloppy print. "Sure," he said humorously.

I made my way down the aisle of chattering students who were preparing to head off the bus. After reaching the too-crowded bathroom, I emotionally collected myself and cleaned up. Today was my very first meet, and I was truly petrified.

Mr. Lee can't run with me during a meet. I would be completely alone. Thankfully, meets did not require any talking, so my only worry was getting lost on the trail.

I headed off the bus and joined the huddle of Rosefield High School students. The rain had stopped but the clouds continued to darken what was beneath it.

"Welcome everybody," an energetic man exclaimed, practically shoving himself into the group of students from Rosefield. Mr. Falliner and Mr. Lee respectfully nodded in his direction. "Today you're competing against my team and it is my honor to walk you through the trail before we run it. Any questions?"

Our huddle remained silent. "Then let's go," he shouted, motioning towards the start of a grassy path.

We all began walking, the sound of the damp grass mushing beneath our sneakers.

"This trail goes straight for half a mile," the man said as we walked. "And then it abruptly turns right. If you keep going straight, I guarantee you'll get lost. Cones are placed to indicate to turn, but some runners tend to ignore it." As he said this, he glared at one of his runners walking aside him and they both started laughing.

Once we advanced farther down the path and turned to the right, a shaded path came into our view. Surrounding it were endless maple trees with the now-dead-leaves littered across the asphalt beneath our shoes.

"Don't expect to finish this meet with clean legs. There are endless puddles of mud that you can't always run around. I suggest you slow down at this area." As he said this, he motioned at the first mud pile I spotted. We all glanced at it and I already heard someone's shoe squish into it.

"Shit," a boy muttered as he cursed a few more times under his breath.

"Seriously?" The coach asked humorously. "Right after I said to watch out for them?"

"Sorry," he muttered shamefully. I glanced at him and his cheeks were a bright red. I felt sorry for him.

"Anyways," the coach said, once again cheerful. "The asphalt path starts here, and to know where you're going, you have to look at the painted lines on the trees. You are following the red lines only. If you follow blue or white, you will exit the forest at a different spot and your time will probably be tripled in length. Got it?"

Everyone nodded. Helplessness clogged my thoughts. I would definitely get lost, and I couldn't ask anyone for help either. I was royally screwed.

"You're okay." Mr. Lee said as he appeared beside me. It seemed as if Mr. Lee could always sense my discomfort.

We both slowed down and let the group go ahead of us. I took out my notepad.

I'm nervous, I wrote. I tilted it towards him and his eyes drank in my handwriting.

"There's no need to be. There's going to be the other team running with you, and trust me, they're a big team. You'll always have someone on your tail." He told me as I gazed up at him, our steps growing slower the more he talked.

I wish you could run aside me, I wrote.

"Pretend I'm there the whole time. And by the end of the race, I'll be waiting for you with a smile."

He smiled at me with such sincerity that the ends of my mouth impulsively tilted up into a smile.

"Thank you," I whispered while squeezing my eyes shut in fear of seeing my mother in the blackness of my eyelids.

His fingers grazed my cheek and he tilted my face up. I leaned my chin into his palm. His minty breath fanned the bridge of my nose and every inch of my skin burned with desire. "You're welcome," he whispered tenderly, his gaze powerful and his eyes tinted with the color of electricity. At this very moment, I forgot my mother even existed, and the only thing I cared about was this beautiful man.

"Nate, you comin'?" Mr. Falliner called out to us. Thankfully he was out of view.

"Be right there!" Mr. Lee shouted back. "Shall we?" He motioned in front of him, jokingly bowing down to me and nodding ahead. "We're always getting behind."

I looked up at him and smiled. We both caught up with the other group and Mr. Lee was focused on the other students now, but the only thing I could think about was how close his lips had been to my neck. If only they had grazed it. I violently blushed at the thought.

"You alright?" Mr. Lee asked when his eyes locked with mine. As he asked me this, he smiled knowingly, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. Was I that obvious? I nervously shook my head to indicate that I was fine. His smile lingered when he looked away and focused on the other students again.

After we finished walking around the whole trail, the girls separated from the guys. Both girls and boys ran separately, and since girls were up first, us girls settled on the starting line. Chatter echoed around me and my heart sped up with anxiety. I placed my right foot in front of my left and closed my eyes. I focused on my quiet panting, willing myself to contain my anxiety so that a panic attack does not arise at this very moment.

"Count to ten," I heard Mr. Lee's voice. My eyes shot open immediately. Mr. Lee was standing on the side with the other coach, as well as other adults that I assumed were parents. I nodded weakly at Mr. Lee, who was looking at me anxiously.

I counted in my head. One, two, three, four-

"I like your hair." I heard a girl say that was standing next to me. My eyes opened again and I looked to the side. A small girl with tons of freckles looked up at me with energetic green eyes.

I smiled awkwardly, and just then I realized it was already past ten seconds, and oddly enough, I was fine. I was still nervous for the race, of course, but my anxiety had settled down a few notches to the point where my hands had stopped shaking.

"On three I shoot the pistol," a large man said on the side with a coaching uniform on. "You do not start until after I shoot." Everybody nodded to indicate that they understood.

Just pretend you're running with Mr. Lee, I thought to myself. He'll be right at the end of the race waiting for me.

"One." The man shouted, the crowds of people growing quiet. The leaves rustled in the wind and a distant dog barked

"Two." My eyes glued to the trail in front of me. My heart raced so fast that it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest any second.

"Three!" The gun shot bursted loudly in the air, and Mr. Lee was the only thought swirling in my head when my feet carried me at a fast pace down the muddy trail.