Chapitre Cinq

46 7 2
                                    


 In the following days, I didn't go online in the evening to text Mer. The void in my heart that he had fulfilled over the past days seemed to be enlarged. It wasn't Mer's fault. It was because I had been too delusional and chased after a love that was not real. Every night, I faced my emptiness when I sat silently in my gloomy room, prisoning myself inside four cold walls. Looking at the soulless computer screen made me just want to go online to talk to him and see his smile through the little emoticons. However, I overcame that desire. At that moment, I didn't know what to say when texting Mer; moreover, it would only desperately enhance the unrequited love in my heart. I would only be hurt more.

 Avoiding Mer online was easy, but I couldn't do the same at school. He waited for me when school was out and suggested having a conversation somewhere. Looking at his begging eyes, I couldn't refuse.


 I carried him on my bike, cycling on the windy road. The late autumn yellow leaves fell like rain. The turning-into-winter sky was dull and dingy gray. We simply moved from street to street, from alley to alley. In the end, he was the one to end the silence between us: "Are you still sad because of me?"

"No, I'm not sad at all," I lied awkwardly.

"Why haven't you been online these days?"

"There are too many 45-minute tests now, so I'm busy studying..." I refused bluntly with a justifiable reason. The truth was completely different: What could I learn when his image always appeared in my head?

"I'm sorry!" Mer said softly.

"Sorry? Sorry for what" I endeavored to smile: "I am the one to apologize! I judged you the way everyone did. I thought you were gay... I'm so bad! Yet I thought I understood you better than anyone else..."


 Mer said nothing. At that time, I just wanted to put my arm behind him, put his arm around my hips, and let his head lean on my back. But everything was always just a dream that could not come true. Suppressing a sigh, I tried to cheer him up with some nonsense: "It's ironic, isn't it? I look so manly and I'm also the captain of the basketball team, so no one has ever thought I'm gay! But for you, who is called a pédé all the time, turned out to be a real boy! It's so hard to understand this life!"

"Are you not sad at all?" He was using an uneasy tone.

"Stop talking nonsense! I have already said that I wasn't sad, but you keep asking! Tell me about the girl you like!"

"Stop talking nonsense! I have already said that I wasn't sad, but you keep asking! Tell me about the girl you like!"

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The Little Prince of mine (Hoàng Tử Bé của tôi)Where stories live. Discover now