𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 💋

"I'm Not Like Other Girls"

♡

It's a simple yet complicated statement, backed up with a lot of history and other baggage. But let's start simple: we are all unique, there is no lie in that. Now, you might've heard of 'pick me's' (people, usually girls/women, distinguishing themselves from a group of people by bringing them down and seeking approval of another group, usually boys/men) and the trend that grew in mocking their 'cringiness'. Yet, there is an underlying, more important theme here than making fun of 'delusional' girls; the pressure for girls to be exceptional, to stand out from the other members of their sex and the effects of internalized misogyny.

♡

We see it everywhere; in YA female protagonists in books, your favorite Disney Channel movies, fanfictions (not every, of course) and so much more. But there's one common denominator; it's all in the media. Now, this is not to say that feeling different from everyone else cannot happen in real life, but the fact is that the 'other girls' we may perceive as the standard for girls/women are not automatically the enemies. There is this sort of propaganda that the media loves to use because it is simple to understand and easier to relate; the case of the perfect girls that are ultra-feminine and get the approval of men by using their femininity vs the girls that are not super feminine (yet not too masculine) and are interested in 'un-girly' things like reading or listening to 'obscure' music. What these tropes purposefully leave out is that girls do not fit into only two boxes; some girls will read Jane Austen books and be cheer captain, play drums in an underground grunge band and love doing their makeup, be sexually active and dress modestly, etc.

This villainization of hyper-femininity, heteronormative stereotypes and girly gender roles is very much linked to internalized misogyny (the notion that everything pertaining to men is superior than women). Realize how it's much more impactful when a guy says you're pretty instead of a girl? Harmful beliefs that girls are lesser then when they are sexually active yet are 'lame' if they are virgins is seen everywhere and have real-life consequences because women's sexuality (not to be mistaken with sexual orientation, though it's also the case) is considered bad. Girls wearing shorts and crop tops are not 'sluts', just like girls wearing hoodies and other baggy clothing are not superior for not dressing in figure-hugging clothes.

Now, there's nothing wrong with having friends that are guys. It is completely okay if you find it easier or feel more comfortable  to interact with boys than girls. The problem arises in belittling girls for the approval of male friends and yourself. Girls do not need the approval of boys to feel special, no matter how many times movies try to make a romantic situation out of the main love interest telling the female protagonist how she's 'not like any other girls he's met'. You are unique because you are yourself, not because a guy tells you that he likes the fact you don't wear makeup or that you don't dress 'like the other girls'.

There is so much more I could write on this, but the main takeaway is that putting other girls down will not make you feel anymore better; it's self-hatred projected onto other girls that most likely feel the same way you do. If you genuinely feel like you do not fit in (and not in a morally superior way), there is a lot of self-love/confidence-booster content out there (the SGC private messages are always open and you can always seek professional help), it may take some time but there is a place for everyone.

Each one of us are like the other girls because girls come in all forms and there's no shame in that.

♡

Here are some videos that really helped me when writing this post:

♡

I really hope this can be some food for thought or a discussion starter for you all. Please don't hesitate to have a civil conversation in the comments :)

~ Shaana ( @MaeShaanaP )