My detective- Johnlock <3

Chapter 7~

promises

Sherlock stood over the sink, shaking uncontrollably. "shit, shit" he mumbled, wiping sweat off his face. he stared at himself in the mirror, his lip quivering. he watched as his face became more and more hot, his whole body filling with panic.

"fuck off. fuck fuck fuck!" he shouted, stumbling out of the bathroom, his wrists stinging harshly. Sherlock hadn't had a panic attack since he was 19, and reliving that was sending immense emotions. chills travelling down his spine, causing him to shudder continuously. he kept mumbling to himself as he walked through his bed room and into the kitchen.

he pressed his hands against the counter, staring at the cuts along his arms, thinking of how much he's fucked up. "2 years for nothing!" he shouted, anger boiling inside him. Sherlock had been clean from self harm for 2 years, and now he had relapsed. he felt so disappointed in himself, guilt welling up inside him.

he was terrified that John would walk through that door any minute and see the state he was in. that thought made him uneasy, his head feeling fuzzy. the feeling of the cold blood dripping down his hand and onto the counter.

he took a step back, lost his balance and fell, hitting his head against the floor hard. he lost his conscious after a few seconds. he lay on the floor for another hour, before John returned.

he had just finished a meeting with Greg, he tuned his keys in the door and walked inside, humming to himself slightly. he walked through the front room, threw his coat on the couch and placed his walking stick down.

he turned around and froze the second he saw Sherlock, his heart dropped and his breathing stopped. "S-Sherlock?" he stuttered. He ran over to him, lifting Sherlocks head. he looked at him, vomit around his face, dried blood over his arms and dark bags under his eyes.

John shook him vigorously, praying he would be okay. he checked his pulse, Johns face feeling hot. sherlocks face scrunched up slightly, his consciousness beginning to return. But John panicked, grabbed his phone and dialled 999.

and after about 7 and a half minutes (the average time for an ambulance in london), an ambulance pulled up outside the flat and two medics rushed inside. they took sherlocks pulse and picked him up, laying him on a stretcher. John stood, panicking.

he watched as the two medic wheeled Sherlock out the room and down the stairs. he followed them outside and got into the ambulance.

after an hour, Sherlock was hooked up to some machines, John standing outside his room. Sherlock was sat awake, staring at the door waiting for Mycroft to come barging in. they had deemed sherlocks accident a suicide attempt and was now on a 48 hour suicide watch hold, meaning he would have to stay at the hospital on full time supervision.

Sherlock was pulled out of his gaze as the door opened, and his brother walked in. he stood at the end of his bed and sighed heavily. "Sherlock..."

he looked up at his brother, tears forming in his eyes. Mycroft had that same disappointed look on his face, the one whenever Sherlock relapsed on drugs.

"for god sake Sherlock, you could have called me.
y-you could have told me if these thoughts or feelings were coming back!" Mycroft shouted, his face becoming hot. Sherlock looked away from him, unable to look into his brothers eyes. Mycroft stood there for a moment, Sherlock looking away. he sighed again, this time with more annoyance. he took one last look at his brother and walked out the room, slamming the door slightly.

after a few minutes John walked back in, he sat on the chair and didn't say a word. Sherlock looked at him, feeling utterly guilty. "i didn't try to kill my self you know." he blurted. John looked up at him and rolled his eyes, "really? cause that's what it bloody well looks like Sherlock."

Sherlock looked away, already feeling the judgement. "ive attempted suicide 4 times in my life." he choked, "twice at 17, once at 20 and once when i was 23." he sighed. John looked at him in utter shock. "wait. you attempted the year before i met you?" John asked, tears streaming down his face.

"10 months ago. i d-dint have the balls to tell you John, i'm sorry." Sherlock sighed. they looked at each other for a moment before pulling their eyes away from each other.

"you could have told me, i understand that Sherlock." Sherlock looked at him and furrowed his eyebrows. "i've been in your situation, for the past two years. i never attempted but i got so unbelievably close Sherl." he smiled, just hoping Sherlock would understand. John stood up from his chair smiling at him.

Sherlock pulled himself up and grabbed johns collar, pulling him closer. Sherlock connected his lips with John passionately, hoping that would make up for the words he couldn't form.
__________

Sherlock spent all three days regretting his decision and staring at a wall. John was with him all day and through some of the nights, trying not to leave Sherlock alone.

Lestrade visited a few times, keeping Sherlock up to date with any news or solves cases. Mrs Hudson baked some cookies and brought them over, and Mycroft hadn't communicated with him since his first hour on the hospital.

John had cleaned the sink and counters before Sherlock came home, he had thrown out anything Sherlock could use as sh and made him promise to talk to him more often. John thought this might of brought them closer, but all it did was create a sense of distance between them. Sherlock stayed in his room all day, barely even eating. he ignored all texts he got from Greg, and ignored whenever John knocked on his door.

this was truly breaking John, before this he thought about confessing. now all he wants is a simple conversation out of him. he has no idea how to even help sherlock, he thought that giving him time and space might help, but so far all it's fine is drifted them. he has no idea what to even talk to Sherlock about, but he knew he had to try something soon.

it was about 5 days after Sherlock got out of the hospital, and John had enough of the silence. he knocked on sherlocks room, took a deep breathe and opened the door slowly. he peered into his room seeing Sherlock curled in a ball. John wanted to break down there and then. but instead he knelt down infront off Sherlock and shook him gently. Sherlock turned to face him and smiled slightly. "how are you?" Sherlock asked.

before John could even answer, he had wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. Sherlock held him even tighter, bursting into tears. "please John, help me" he muffled into johns shoulder.

John pulled away from him, stared into his eyes longingly. Sherlock flickered his gaze between johns lips and eyes, but finally he closed the gap connecting his lips to Johns.

they shared a slow and passionate kiss, making up for any lost time. they stayed together for a while, John eventually joking sherlock in bed, lying next to him. "promise me you'll start talking to me more often?" John asked. Sherlock smiled at him, "promise" he whispered before kissing him again.

"Sherlock there's something i've been meaning to tell you." John mumbled. "mhm", "well, almost losing you the other night made me realise, there's no guarantee that i'll see you every day. so i want to tell you exactly how i feel, so we can get as much time together as possible." John smiled, his heart beating quickly.

Sherlock looked at him, knowing exactly what John was going to say. "so Sherlock" he cleared his throat. "i'm in love with you. i have been since the first day, your stupid smile and your perfect curls, and that dam jawline. i couldn't want anything more than you Sherlock. so, if you feel the same way i would love to be your boyfriend?" jawn smiled. "John.." he bf faced himself for the rejection.

"i would love nothing more than that". the two giggled lightly before kissing each other immensely. "mm you taste good" Sherlock mumbled into johns mouth, causing him to giggle. "come 'ere stupid"

A/U
so, here's the thing. i am leaving this story here. i may end up making a  sequel, but i'm not sure. i'm happy with the emding and i'm sorry it's so short. thank you guys so much for being on this journey with me. i love all off you!!
(first book i've completed LOL)
-raven <3