Journal of a Rose

Interim 2

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I should hit the sack. At least I get to sleep in my bed tonight! Which reminds me, I need to unpack everything again...

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[The next date was marked as it would be for the following day. There's little flags doodled next to it in other colored ink: red, blue, and green.]

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That pompous asshole woke us all up at 6 AM for a game of Capture the Flag. Luckily for me, I was already up and doing my morning yoga. "But Iliana, why are you up so early already? I thought you hated mornings?" Well, y'see, as much as I adore sleeping in like any other shmuck, I... could not. In fact, with the irregular scheduling around here, I think my internal clock has been reset. Not to mention some nightmares here and there. The same ones...

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Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, right! Capture the Flag. I deliberately ignored both the obnoxious whistle and the text so I could cool down from the night before. I know I shouldn't be mad about it for too long, but after the way Axemera treated me before I just CANNOT stand for that type of behavior.

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But I digress. Instead of participating, Penna and I spectated from the castle roof. I added sports commentary for fun, and Penna seemed to get a kick out of it. I think my jokes really rolled when the new lizard guy kept falling into the weird jelly moat. Penna seemed to dislike the moat, talking about how it wasn't a swimmable one. They liked to talk about the canals from their home, which led me to learn a little nore about their home life. They lived happy, healthy, and well-loved by their clan and the humans that support them. I can't help but feel a little bit jealous, y'know? They asked me about my home life, and I couldn't help but panic. What do you tell an optimistic gargoyle? That you were a disappointment? That you abandoned everyone and left them for something else? ... I told them a little about Mandorian and how much he meant to me. They seemed thrilled to know I had a sibling I cared for, but I wish they could understand why he's so important to me. Not that they can't, it's just... complicated, y'know? Luckily, the topic changed and we talked about other things. Hobbies, favorite foods, the basics. I wasn't surprised when they told me they can't cook. Those talons look like the worst grips!

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Eventually the game ended and the lawn was reset. Penna and I got a good view to watch Shephard and Ashai beat the living shit out of TC. We were too far to know why exactly, but it was fun while it lasted. After that, Penna and I parted ways, and I decided to go vibe in my room the rest of the day. I know, so exciting, right? Actually, I was borrowing books from the library so I could get a new lead on my research. Nothing so far, maybe I'll write a new entry if I make a breakthrough.

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[A third entry for another day, a tiny, hastily drawn Keyblade sat next to the date along with a strange 3D diamond shape. What does this entail? Who's to say?]

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I got dragged out of a post-all-nighter nap for a Keyblade meeting today??? I didn't even know they knew I was a wielder??? Everyone else was so enthusiastic, but I was just... not feeling it. At. All. I may have made them think I didn't really care about the whole "We'll grow together!" or "You'll get your blades sooner!" stuff. Which, y'know, is fine I guess. The main thing is that I don't think I could handle holding one of those again. Last time I did, I couldn't save anyone from an onslaught of darkness, let alone carve a path through it so I could leave. What makes Caelum think I'm capable of getting it back??? ... Right, he thinks I'm capable because I may be worthy. What he doesn't know is that the ONLY reason why I had a Keyblade in the first place was because of [An ink stain blots this word out.] He noticed though, I could tell. I was playing it off as being exhausted, but I noticed him observing towards the end of the meeting. If only he knew... I hate to hide what I'm thinking, I just can't handle anyone knowing that I'm a hopeless cause. I lost it once, getting it back is not worth it. I hope they would understand.

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Anyway, everyone offered up sparring matches as an option for practice while Caelum had to run off to a doctor's appointment. I decided to sit back and observe, ruminate on the confidence of the others in the same less rickety boat as me. Amaii V. Akari, and Amira V. Simon. The wins were fascinating, both Akari and Simon coming out on top. Simon had his Keyblade for a reasonable amount of time, so it surprised me that he was almost bested. He got a nifty scar by the end there! Amaii surprised me the most, I thought she would've won against brute force for sure! Things were cut short, Amaii got K.O.'d when Amira bonked her in the nose, so Akari and Amira rushed her inside. It was fairly entertaining, I will not lie.

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I almost had the chance to ask TC- or Igneel, I guess- about my Gummi problem I was having, but Caelum got back from his appointment all loopy, so he rushed off to help and I just... gave up. It's fine, I can figure out how to fix a busted block on my own. Though I wouldn't mind waiting to ask again later, if I remember anyway. For now, I'll sit here and continue to poke at it until something works out. At least nobody needs me for the rest of the day! Thankfully...