The Reds and Blues are not shooting at each other. Sarge is addressing Church.
Sarge: We are giving you a chance to surrender!
Grif: There's no way this bluff is gonna work.
Thea: I agree.
Sarge: Put a cork in it, Fast Eddie. There's positively no way they know we're outta ammo.
Cut to the Blues.
Church: Yeah, they're definitely outta ammo... (yells back) What're your terms?!
Tucker: Their what?
Cut to the Reds.
Grif: Our what?
Simmons: I can't believe this is actually working. See if we can get Lopez back, Sarge.
Thea: Yeah, our plans never work.
Grif: Oh yeah. 'Cause then he can fix the Warthog.
Thea: I'm a mechanic.
Donut: Oo oo, Sarge - tell them we want the flag.
Grif: Yeah, and some cake!
Donut: Ooh... Wait wait Sarge, just the cake.
Thea: I'd like cake.
Sarge: Alright, Blues! First off! We want your flag-!
Simmons: Wait wait wait just a second. The last time we got the flag, the chick in the black armor showed up.
Sarge: ...to stay right where it is! Keep the flag! But we do want our mechanized droid guy back!
Thea: (Sighs sadly) Why did Donut have to kill her.
Simmons: Why, was she your Ex's lover or something?
Thea: What! No! She was my mom.
Simmons: What?! Well, that explains you being scary when angry.
Thea: Yeah.
Church: Uh oh.
Sarge: You may know him as Señor El Roboto!
Cut to the Blues.
Tucker: Well, Church, what's it gonna be?
Church: Chingado, no way. I'm not giving back my body. I just got this thing.
Sarge: And don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!
Church: Uh.. Uh, he's not here any more!
Tucker: Yeah, he left! He was all like "Sayonara!" and then he just took off!
Thea: Thats Japanese!
Church: Yeah, you idiot, Let's try this: Hey, Reds! How about a medic?! Would you take a medic as a hostage?!
Doc: A hostage? But I'm supposed to go over there.
Cut to the Reds.
Simmons: Meh, that sounds pretty good to me.
Grif: I don't know, I think we can hold out for more.
Simmons: We don't have any bullets, dumbass.
Thea: We wouldn't have to make this deal if you haven't forgot the bullets and I'm a medic.
Grif: (ignores her) Oh, right. Take the medic. The medic's a good deal.
Thea: But I'm a medic.
Everyone just ignores her.
Cut to the Blues.
Church: Hey, Doc. How's the patient?
Doc: Doing well. He seems very alert and responsive.
Tucker: He's talking about Caboose, right?
Church: No, I mean his toe. How's the toe I shot?
Doc: What, that thing? That fell off like half an hour ago.
Caboose: (sad) Rest in peace, pinkie toe... (in O'Malley voice) You shall be avenged!
Doc: (sighs) Tell you what... Go ahead and send me over. I really don't think I can be any more help.
Church: Okay! We're gonna send over our medic! Now what do we get?!
Simmons: You?! You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
Tucker: We've already got that! What else do you have?! Oh! Send over the girl!
Thea: Hell No!
Suddenly a bullet went past the gap of Tuckers legs.
Tucker: Whoa!
Thea: Looks like I had one more bullet.
Sarge: What do you want?! Except for Thea!
Church: How about if you admit that the Red Team sucks?!
The Reds mutter to themselves for a moment.
Sarge: What if we admit that one of us sucks?!
Grif: NICE. Wait, you mean Donut, right?
Thea: This is karma.
Screen blacks and shows "two hours later" in white letters, then returns to the Blues.
Church: Okay then! We agree to the terms?! You first, and then we send over the medic!
Sarge: Get on with it, Grif.
Thea: (whispers to herself) I am so recording this.
Grif: (grunting sigh) I would just like to let everyone know.. that I suck!
Church: And?!
Grif: And that I'm a girl!
Church: What else!?
Grif: And I like ribbons in my hair! And I want to kiss all the boys!
Sarge: This may be the best surrender of all time.
Thea: I am so glad that I'm recording this.
Sarge: Send me that.
Thea: Yes sir.
Grif: You better delete that!
Thea: (Lying) Okay, I'll get right on that.
Simmons: Okay, is that good enough?!
Church: Yeah! (turns to Doc) Alright, go ahead Doc.
Doc runs over to the Reds.
Grif: Man, I really hope you're worth this.
Doc: Can I ask you a question? Do they put something in the water here?
Grif: Water? We ran outta water six months ago.
Doc: No water.. Then what do you drink?
Grif: Uh, you know, ketchup, uh, soy sauce, gravy, the usual.
Sarge: I only drink the blood of my enemies. And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo. Or a Sarsaparilla. Grenadine, straight from the can. Deeelicious. ...Oh, occasionally I do enjoy a 'Sex on the Beach.' Or a piña colada. (singing) If you like piña coladas, hengh! Gettin' caught in the rain, hengh! And you're not in to yoga, engh! Grif just has half a brain, ungh.
Thea: You guys do realize that we have a mini fridge, right?
Sarge/Simmons/Grif: WHAT!?!?!
Thea: (Mutters) Guess they didn't know, (normal voice) Welcome aboard prisoner.
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Red vs blue (female OC) season 2
FanfictionJoin the reds and blues for their next adventure. Thea's last name has been revealed, Tex is her mother but who is her father? What will be her reaction to Doc, a useless medic, O'Malley, the evil AI and to the Blues not actually being their enemy...