Finding Ford

chapter twenty four

Jas wraps her arms around me in record speed. She's taller than me, but her face is buried into my shoulder, and before I know it, she's shaking. My grip on my best friend tightens, especially when I feel a wetness beginning to soak my shoulder. The bastard. He made my best friend cry. No one is allowed to do that.

"It's not fair," Jas mutters into my hair. "It's not fair."

"I know," I tell her softly, feeling myself also lean my forehead against her shaking shoulder. "I know."

It takes Jas a good twenty minutes to stop crying. I can tell she's been holding her tears in for a while, possibly ever since she found out last week. Jas just isn't the type to show weakness. She's always shouting, always laughing and always adding in sarcastic-on-the-verge-of-being-insulting comments. That's why seeing her break down just saddens me.  

James finds us at lunch, his eyes narrowing in concern as soon as he sees Jas. Times like these, when I see the way James gently reaches for her and softly asks what's wrong, a softness in his eyes mixed with a protectiveness leaves me lost. I know James and Jas. I know, despite what we've found out, that James seriously cares for Jas, just as Jas seriously cares for James. The hurt I see in Jas' eyes, coupled with the confusion and desperation on her face when she sees the way he treats her breaks my heart.

I hate all of this. It's not fair.

"I'm fine, James," mutters Jas, tearing out of his grip. Hurt flashes in James' eyes, and then something else.

James' eyes flicker to mine, and suddenly I know. I know exactly what flashed in his eyes. A dangerous anger.

As soon as James looks back at Jas, though, his expression turns soft again.

"Are you sure?" he asks her. When she nods, refusing to look at him, I observe the way James purses his lips, seemingly hurt. Until, something albeit to realization crosses his face, and rage takes place of the hurt.

My heart begins to beat against my chest. I try to distract him by changing the subject. "Where're you going for lunch?" I ask him.

"Home," James says shortly. If this would have been a week ago, I would have thought nothing of the way James is talking. However, now I notice the repressed anger underneath his words. I never noticed how scary James can be- that's what knowledge can do to a person, I guess. Knowledge of the unknown.

"Why?" Jas asks, still not looking at him, but I can tell she's curious.

"I have to take care of something," he says, before shouldering his backpack and leaving.

Jas and I share a look. "He knows," I blurt.

"He's always known that we know," Jas counters.

"No," I whisper, leaning closer so only she can hear. "I could tell by the look on his face when you pulled away from him. He knows that we know it's him."

A look of realization crosses over Jas' face. "Shit."

"Yeah," I grumble, hitting my head against the locker. "Shit."

x

"Don't you have track today?" Jas asks James when she sees him getting ready at his locker at the end of the day. He looks at her, and I know right then and there that my earlier suspicions are confirmed. Where his normally cold face would light up at the sight of her, his eyes stay neutral. It's scary.

"I do," James nods. "I'm not going today, though."

"Oh." Jas purses her lips. "Want me to come over?"