Love, Ross // r.s.l.

Seventeen

"So you guys like knew each other your whole life?"

"You could say so"

"Woah" Harmony reached for a slice of pizza. "Dream relationship right there, and these Polaroids are adorable! You should stick them all down on a scrap book and-"

She paused when she noticed I was staring intensely at my favourite. It was taken on the day we went to that forest and got completely muddy. I smiled at it, blinking back tears. "Sorry, it still happens every now and then"

"It's okay, I can tell you were really close" she smiled. "It's only normal"

I nodded slowly and took a gulp of my drink.

Mom was surprisingly excited that I invited a friend over and even allowed us to order pizza and stay up really late (she's like that).

It seems like I'm slowly moving on but I occasionally stumble upon a memory - physical or not - and a pang of sadness hits me. But I've been able to control my tears so far.

"You're right" I stood up and reached under my bed for my arts & crafts box. "Willing to help me make a scrap book?"

Harmony's face lit up. "YES, ok so I have plans for the cover which could be most of the selfies you took together"

+++

I walked inside to find my parents sat on the sofa, an envelope in my mom's hand.

"Hi" I greeted them.

"Sit down" Dad snapped.

"Oh snap" I muttered quietly and sat down. "What's up?"

"What's up?! Let me tell you what is definitely not up!" Mom pulled out a sheet. My grades. "An F in English, Maths and French, a D in Music and ICT?! What is going on, Amelia?! You're an A* student!"

I sat motionless. Maybe I shouldn't have bunked as much.

"Not only that, your attitude also" Dad began. "You're bunking school, you come home late, you reek of alcohol and smoke and half of the time you just don't give a damn about anything we say!"

Mom's expression changed from angry to disappointed. "Where's our Amelia? The sweet, kind girl we once had before she walked out of that door for the Summer?"

I looked at my feet. She died. She died along with her best friend.

Quickly, I stood up and ignored their shouts after me and exited the house towards Ross'. I knocked hurriedly.

Stormie came to answer the door. "Hi sweetie-"

"Hello, I need to borrow the Dodge" I said. "It's urgent"

"Oh my god, sure" she disspaeared inside and came back with the keys. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah! I'll be back soon, promise" I jogged to the Dodge and got in the drivers seat. It took me a second to sink in, to just absorb the memories in this very car.

Once I snapped back to life, I started the engine and hit the road.

I'm going to get murdered for leaving mid- lecture but I need to. It's something I've been planning to do since the funeral but never had the strength to do it.

You and me.

I was on the road for what seemed like hours but it was only 30 minutes which made it 5pm.

I parked the car and got out, striding towards the entrance of the cemetery. I don't remember exactly where it was but I'm sure it's near the Eastern exit of the cemetery and I came in from the South.

My eyes welled up with tears once I recognised the tombstone. It was striking, possibly the most beautiful here. It was difficult to accept that this is the closest I could physically get to Ross for a long time. And even after that, I don't know.

I knelt down beside his tombstone. "Hi, partner in crime. Been a while, huh"

The leaves rustled quietly behind me. I wiped my tears quickly.

"I miss you so much it's unreal, it's physically painful" I whispered. "It's so difficult without you. Some nights I wonder if I should just join you, my life is already off the rails anyway. I decided to make some bad choices. I even smoke now, goodness sake"

I chuckled. "It's amazing how much I needed you and I never knew. You know, I thought of getting 'You and Me' tattooed on my wrist- you'd probably call me insane but I think it would be nice"

My hand reached over and I felt the tombstone, more tears forming in my eyes. "I hope you're okay- OUCH!"

The thorns of a single red rose hit my arm as it forcefully flew into me, and let me just say, there was no wind whatsoever.

I must be completely off the scale lunatic, but he was there.

I picked the rose up with a smile. "You really do know when to appear don't you. Well, if you're still around the, I love you a lot"

+++

I walked inside the house and in sync, my parents walked out of the kitchen. "I'm glad I caught you both, I have a few things to declare"

I sighed. "From now on, I will do extra classes to boost my grades, I will also give up smoking and drinking for good and become more active and volunteer and get a job and anything else that I need to do for you guys to be proud of me again because I'm slowly going off the rails and I don't- i don't"

Mom pulled me into a hug. "We got it. We know it's been a tough time but that is no excuse- yet hey, if you're willing to do all of that I'm not complaining"

I smiled. "Thanks and I will"

It's time to set the record straight. Sort of.