garden of fools. | 범규 √

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

"You know, right?" I faced her, taking out the lighter from my right pocket and a cigarette from my left. "—That I smoke."

"I'm completely aware of it, to be quite honest—especially when I chased after you on your birthday just to find you on the phone with Yeonjun AND with a cigarette in your hand. I shouldn't be shocked, but after all that I've heard, I'm momentarily appalled," She tapped her foot against the concrete, a frown on her face. "What exactly are you doing?! Are you crazy?!"

"What do you mean "what am I doing?" I'm doing what I want!" I exclaimed, frowning. "I just.. don't feel for people anymore—especially Beomgyu."

"Especially Beomgyu!?" She recited, gasping. A small smile was brought onto her face before she embraced me, causing me to widen my eyes. "Oh my gosh, my little girl is all grown up now! She's moved on from her first love, and while she is smoking—though I don't approve of it—, it means she's really growing! Ahh!"

"Alright, alright, enough of that bullshit," I pried her off of me, frowning as she shrugged happily. I lit my cigarette, placing it between my lips as I inhaled the smoke. Exhaling it, she watched carefully. "You can't tell anyone about it, especially Beomgyu, Yena! If he finds out, he'll instantly think—"

"You fell out of love with him. Yet, isn't that the truth?" She crossed her arms, leaning her chin up as she knew she was right. I didn't feel the same about Beomgyu as I did before, almost like the feelings had tired themselves out. "Think about it, Yihwa. You wouldn't ask for the cigarette box from Soobin if you didn't need them. Even if you think you'd need them, you wouldn't smoke them if it wasn't true. Promises were meant to be broken, and I guess my favorite one was the first to be broken."

"You seem to love rooting for our relationship, Yena, even when you say we should break up."

"Well, I loved rooting for it at one point, well before everyone hated it," She added, chuckling at me. "Now, as much as I hate it, it's nice to reminisce on the stupidity of puppy love. I'm glad you and I are growing out of it."

"A little too glad, that is," I replied, inhaling the smoke again. Exhaling once more, I threw the cigarette stub to the ground, stepping on it to let the flame die out. Picking it up, I threw it in the trash can by the entrance. "You sound happier than me."

"Well, you'll be crying, screaming, yelling when it happens tomorrow," Yena sighed, smiling sadly. "Can't we celebrate the perfect parts of the upcoming break up before it really breaks down tomorrow?"

"I can't tell whether it should be happy or sad—but I suppose we could smile about it for a bit," I sighed, looking down at the grass. "Who knew four years would go to waste, though... I kind of wished that I could be the one to save the relationship, the one to change... but even as I did change and as I put in the effort to keep it mended, it tore even more. It's only right that we loosen the ties between us for the greater good."

"I suppose, as long as you're happy at it by the end of it," She shook her head, brushing her hair back. "Actually, let me rephrase that since you won't—as long as you're happy in the long run and you'll decide to find new opportunities, then I'll be fine with you breaking up with him."

"Yena, you think of me a lot," I sighed, grinning at her. "I... appreciate it. A lot."

"Well, you aren't my best friend for nothing!" She giggled, shaking her shoulders. "Aren't you glad we're graduating? We'll be going to the same school together, being around the same campus—maybe even dorm-mates!"

"I fucking hope not."

"Hey~" She frowned, and before she could continue, we heard a door slam closed. Yena flinching first, her eyes widened.