Is This The End?

Chapter 14

I'm not sure how long I laid on that bed listening to music, but eventually Emelia walked in to get me to come out to eat dinner with everyone.

I didn't eat much of my meal. I wasn't hungry. I lied and told everyone that I had a lot to eat when I was at The Center, but the truth was, I hadn't eaten all day. I should be hungry, but the idea of actually being able to throw up anything because of the thought of the mission, was enough to keep me away.

Once the meal was over, I retreated into my room to take a nap.

Emelia and Andrew tried to engage me in conversation during the meal, but I was barely able to respond. I couldn't look at Emelia without thinking about all of the ways I'd have to lie to her. They probably figured I was just tired and eventually left me alone to do my own thing.

I ended up excusing myself at the end of the meal to go take a nap.

When I woke up from my nap, I checked the clock to see that it was 11 pm. Emelia had fallen asleep next to me. She looked so peaceful sleeping. The thought that she would look like that when she was dead entered my mind, but I quickly rushed it out of my head.

I began forming a plan on what I would do.

There was no way I was going to kill Emelia. I loved her too much to do that. Honestly, even if I didn't love her, there was no way I could hurt someone else like that.

At some point, I came to the conclusion that I would just have to accept that I would die soon. There wasn't any way around it. Maybe I could tell her about the mission and we could run off somewhere, but there's no chance of living somewhere that The Center wouldn't find us. There was no other option. I would live out these last three months with Emelia and I would make them the best possible months. Hopefully, they would let her live if I sacrificed myself. I was going to let The Center kill me.

Content, but not happy with my decision. I turned towards Emelia and wrapped my arm around her. If I had to die, at least I would get to spend the days leading up to it with her.

For the next couple of months I kept the mission hidden, hung out with everyone a lot, and pretended like everything was normal.

Emelia even continued her work at The Center, so I'm guessing she was completely unaware that they were out to get her. I guess it was also better that she didn't know that or even why I was going to die very soon. If she never found out why even after I died, it would be easier for her to move on.

Emelia did notice that I was more interested in spending time with her and that I was "more romantic" as she said.

We went on more dates, I was more spontaneous and we even began making plans for our future together. It's kind of silly when we are forced to live together to make plans, especially since I knew I was going to die, but I humoured her ideas anyways.

She was honestly the brightest and most amazing person I had ever met in my life. As the days grew closer, I got sadder. I couldn't believe that I would be leaving her, Andrew, Josie and Jeffrey all behind.

I didn't have a choice, but it didn't suck any less.

One night Emelia and I were just cuddling in bed and listening to our favorite songs together.

I was honestly getting very sleepy when a strange idea came to my head.

"Do you want to get married?" I asked her, shifting my tired voice into a more up-beat tone.

"What?" she giggled.

"Do you want to get married?" I repeated.

People didn't actually get married because The Center didn't establish any official process for it, but it was an 'underground' tradition of sorts. It was something that people used to do hundreds of years ago. We had learned about it in our history studies.