Living With The Bad Boy

Chapter 23 || A Living Breathing Storm Cloud

"Ooo, that's a good start to an apology."

He rolls his eyes and then continues, "We were complete opposites and I'm supposed to be the bad-ass jerk that hates everything. I think that was why I acted like I hated you so much; I was circumferencing to social expectations."

"I think you mean succumbing," I smile.

He waves his hand at me to shut up, so I do, "The other part of me hated you because you were happy and fucking bubbly. I thought you were fake and annoying, because I was miserable and I didn't like seeing people happy. So, naturally, I hated you and your chirpy ass.

"Anyway, eventually I realised that you weren't actually that bad and so I stopped hating you, but I didn't like liking you because it was going against me and my nature. I'm not supposed to like you at all. I'm the bad boy. You're the good girl. That's why I pulled that scene when I dropped you off at school. I wanted you to hate me. But you never acted like it even after that, which frustrated me even more... And then you started to actually act like you hated me and then I felt bad about it all and be nice and I.." he runs a hand through his hair, "It's stupid. I'm stupid - and sorry."

"Is that why you were a jerk to me last night? or when we were at the beach and you suddenly acted all harsh."

"Yeah," he replies, "I was never supposed to like you. I'm supposed to hate you... I..." he trails off and exhales a sigh, "And then I felt these feelings that completely contradicted my nature. I wanted to actually do good things and do you favours, you know? Like when I helped you with Elle and shit like that. It was weird."

I tilt my head curiously, "What feelings?"

"That sounded wrong. I don't have a crush on you or anything, I just... I don't know. I don't really understand it. I just didn't like these feelings because I like to feel in control of myself and every aspect of my life, but the way that I feel... I can't control and I fucking hate that."

We fall silent and avert our attention to the city view. I purse my lips and think through his words. Feelings? What type of feelings is he talking about? My heart leaps in hope that perhaps my feelings for him weren't unrequited. I look back at Blake, "What happened between you and Amy the other night? It sounded like you guys had something special going on and you just dumped her like she meant nothing to you."

"Of all the questions for me in the world, that's the one you ask?" he scoffs in disbelief. "Amy and I had a small fling for a short amount of time. It really wasn't special. We just hung out and had sex most of the time. She knew it wouldn't lead to anything and I told her that. It's her own fault that she grew attached."

"That's why she's so protective of you," I state, more to myself than Blake. "That was a really nice letter that you wrote for me yesterday, by the way."

"Thanks. Chase helped me write it."

I grin at his words. He's just so cute sometimes. I hesitate on my words before finally asking the question that has been on my mind since I first met Blake, "Do you have a brother?"

Blake's eyes snap to me, startled by my question. His adams apple bobs as he swallows nervously. "No," he finally replies, "I had one."

I feel my gaze lower. That possibility had always been at the back of my mind, but I didn't want to make any assumptions or jump to conclusions. "I'm sorry."

"His name was James and he was my idol. He was a fucking idiot, too right, but he was a good bloke," Blake laughs humourlessly.

I watch him carefully, "What happened? If you don't mind me asking."