Fly free again

Chapter 6

Jin Ling was sitting on his bed in the guest room he used every time he visited the Cloud Recesses and was inconsolable. All his friends were there with him but he did not seem to so much as notice them in his deep self-blaming.

He could have seen that his uncle had been distressed and knew fully well that he did not want to ride his sword, but he begged nevertheless. He had even used his secret weapon and called Wei Wuxian 'Uncle' for the first time ever. Well, not exactly; he had thought about him in these terms ever since the events at the Guanyin temple but he had been too embarrassed to say those words aloud to his face.

It had not been because he had feared how others would watch him after learning that the notorious Yiling Patriarch, although long cleaned of all the charges against him, was in fact his uncle. No, he was fine with that, he was even slightly proud, not that he would ever admit this part aloud. He just did not want his uncle to start treating him even more dearly than he had already been. He had seen it enough of times with Lan Sizhui, Wei Wuxian's son, and he did not want to have this kind of attention. And even if he wanted, it was still too embarrassing.

Now however, in his worry for his uncle who refused to so much as step on a sword, forgoing perhaps the most wonderful part of being a cultivator, he played on this card, fully aware that the other would not be able to refuse. Of course, he had been right. Not that he liked how it all turned out.

He had almost started crying seeing his uncle fall from the swords and then being carried away by Hanguang-Jun in an utmost distressed state. He regretted now; it was all because he had pressured his uncle into something he did not want to do in the first place. And now this happened. Would Wei Wuxian still want to have anything in common with him? Or will he abandon him because he would be too mad at him?

Jin Ling did not know his uncle too well just yet, he had only spent a few moments with him compared to being brought up by his other uncle, the sect leader of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. He knew that Uncle Jiang would perhaps be mad at him but not for long. What about Uncle Wei? How would he react? Would he be mad at him and stop talking to him? Or would he instead be happy that he had cared about him, although it did not turn out quite well?

Jin Ling drew his knees closer to his chest and buried his head even deeper between his crossed hands. He could feel someone patting his shoulder, probably in an attempt to sooth him. He focused on the sensation and soon he could also hear what his friends were saying.

"Jin Ling, it will be fine, Hanguang-Jun had caught Senior Wei before he could actually fall. He had probably only been a bit shaken. He is fine."

It was Lan Jingyi. Jin Ling appreciated the effort his friend had put into keeping his voice steady, however it would have been much more reassuring if his tone did not betray all his worries. Jin Ling only sighed, of course he knew his uncle would be alright and had not been injured, but still.

"Yes, Jingyi is right. I am sure that Senior Wei will be up and running around like usual the first thing tomorrow. He had probably only lost his balance because he did not have enough practice with his new golden core." This time it was Ouyang Zizhen who intervened before Jin Ling's mind could slide towards negative thoughts again.

Jin Ling lifted his head and scowled slightly. He did not think that this was the whole truth. When his uncle may be lacking practice, he had seen his face as he had been falling, it looked like he was not truly there at that moment. It did not seem like one of his jokes either, not with how tightly he was clutching at Hanguang-Jun's clothes when his husband had caught him and how tense his body had become. He had not even given them a glance before being taken away!

He could see that his friends had similar doubts judging by their expressions. Even Ouyang Zizhen was looking doubtful and he had been the one who had said that. None of them knew what was happening with Wei Wuxian and they were scared.

After a long silence, Lan Sizhui suggested: "What if we go see how Dad is doing? It has been quite a while; I think he will be alright by now."

Jin Ling did not know if Lan Sizhui was trying to also reassure himself or if it was only to keep him from his morose thoughts, he was grateful to him nevertheless. A little bit scared of finding how his uncle would actually react, but eager to go see him, if just to not have to be on edge like this.

They immediately almost run out of the room and hurried towards the Jingshi where they knew Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun would surely be after such an episode. Not that they happened all that often, Jin Ling had only seen two or three when he had been visiting the Cloud Recesses in the past. Each time, his uncle and the Chief cultivator retreated inside the Jingshi and Wei Wuxian would be completely fine in the morning. Still, this was different since Jin Ling, although unconsciously, had caused this one.

They stop in front of the door, slightly gasping for breath. They looked at each other to see who would knock. Jin Ling was not feeling up to it, still scared of his uncle's reaction. After a few seconds had passed in an awkward silence, Lan Jingyi reached out his hand and nodded before knocking.

The door burst open almost immediately and they were looking at a smiling, if a little surprised, Wei Wuxian who greeted them only one heartbeat later: "Ah, my favourite juniors, did you finish your lesson? Did you have fun?"

Wei Wuxian was acting normal; and it was unnerving. Jin Ling did not know what he should make of the situation. Was his uncle really fine by now or was he pretending again? He observed him carefully but could not find evidence of either of those options.

Wei Wuxian must have felt that something was wrong because he asked with worries marring his face: "What happened? Are you alright?"

That was it! Jin Ling could not take it anymore. Why was his uncle worrying about them when he should be thinking about himself at the moment? What was wrong with him?

Mostly unconsciously, Jin Ling snapped at the other: "What about you? Are you alright?"

Wei Wuxian's face changed, it was full of surprise right now, Jin Ling had never realized just how easy it was to read his uncle. Perhaps he had never truly tried to before.

The next second, his uncle was smiling again, looking at them with fondness: "Of course I am alright. Thank you for worrying about me." Then he added a bit apologetically: "I am sorry to have worried you. Everything is alright now."

Jin Ling felt tears threatening to come out of his eyes when his uncle scoped all four of them into a tight hug and then ruffled their hair.

Everything truly was alright, his uncle did not hate him nor was he mad at him for forcing him to do something he did not want. Jin Ling did his best to keep the tears to himself until he returned to his room and cried a bit in relief. Only for a little while, he was no cry baby.